I couldn't decide what thread this belonged under. Let's hear your suggestions:

CRESTVIEW -- An intoxicated woman told police to arrest her after she admitted to throwing a closed pocket knife at her husband's forehead.

The 23-year-old woman also told them she was a nymphomaniac and an alcoholic and that her estranged husband had been staying with her for a week, ever since she asked him over to have sex and he never left.

Details.

I don't know what to call this but it sounds like a movie of the week starring Lindey Lohan.

Fark.com has a "Florida" tag. This would qualify.

At least they weren't playing "dirty cowboy."

This story appears to be a corollary of the naked thread's premise: certain words ensure that a story will run. In this case, the maxim might be "if it gets drunk and [word that rhymes with "blues"], it's news." In the end, it's simply confirmation that cops don't get paid too well, but have the best stories.

She obviously didn't listen to enough of Jimmy Buffett's old albums. Or she listened to them too much.

"An intoxicated woman told police to arrest her after she admitted to throwing a closed pocket knife at her husband's forehead"

He must have been doing something right. It doesn't sound like his pocket knife was closed.