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Enema - Deadly Weapon??

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February 02, 2005, 20:18
Enema - Deadly Weapon??
Would the enema be considered a deadly weapon?

Wife accused of giving man lethal sherry enema
Copyright 2005 Houston Chronicle

ANGLETON - Investigators say a Lake Jackson woman caused her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, causing his blood alcohol level to surge to 0.47 percent - almost six times the legal intoxication limit.

Tammy Jean Warner, 42, was indicted on a charge of negligent homicide. She is also charged with burning the will of her late husband, Michael Warner, a month before his death in May.

Michael Warner, a 58-year-old machine shop owner, had a long history of alcoholism, but couldn't ingest alcohol because of medical problems with his throat, said Lake Jackson Police detective Robert Turner. The wine enema was a way he could become intoxicated without drinking alcohol, Turner said.

"I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it," Turner said.

Turner said police think she gave him at least two large bottles of sherry, which is stronger than wine, in the enema on May 21. "We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said, "These were at least 1.5 liter bottles."

She told police that she later found him dead in his bed. Turner said she admitted giving him the sherry, but not of causing his death.

Tammy Warner surrendered to Lake Jackson police Monday and was released on $30,000 bond.
February 02, 2005, 22:13
Rebecca Gibson
You know, I thought I'd heard it all. I cannot believe it. I have heard of all types of drug ingestion, even shooting up heroin between the toes to avoid track marks. But, a sherry enema. GROSS!!!!! You would really have to love your man to give him an enema when he is in a non-vegetative state. Kind of makes you wonder how the conversation even started between the two of them.

[This message was edited by Beck Gibson on 02-03-05 at .]
February 03, 2005, 07:31
A.P. Merillat
Well Beck,
I'm sure it started with soft music and a romantic dinner, and comments about the flickering candlelight dancing in her eyes looking like twinkling stars in the late-night sky. Then, of course there's the toast, but one of the two can't drink to his lover's health, because he can't swallow, so he naturally suggests that perhaps, in order to validate the good wishes made by clinking the crystal glasses together, the wine could run its magical course through the path of least resistance. A little banjo music, maybe a dance or two and a tight embrace to the haunting rhythm of the djembe, and the rest as they say, is history.
No, it's not from personal knowledge, but I did work the sex crimes unit in the Montrose.
February 03, 2005, 08:44
Yes, well done, A.P.

We all know that incidents like these often spawn legislation to stop situations like these from happening again, so perhaps in the future the federal government, or even a blue ribbon state committee, could legislate that the necessary
"equipment" carry the following warning:

February 03, 2005, 08:51
A.P. Merillat
I believe the other warning label should be posted at birth: "Exit only".
February 03, 2005, 09:30
What kind of chaser do you have with that?
February 03, 2005, 10:40
Sort of gives a new meaning to the phrase "Wine, women and song". I'm afraid, A.P., to guess what type of music could have accompanied this particular scenario.
February 03, 2005, 12:53
Wesley Wittig
A.P., I'm little worried about your "language of Love" response where you state that an enema follows the path of LEAST resistance. I don't know about you, pal, but that's the path of MOST resistance in my book.
February 03, 2005, 13:05
A.P. Merillat
Wesley -- see "Exit only" above, and I can provide an affidavit from my doctor about my personal nightmares and horror when "that check-up time of year" rolls around! If I am ever found dead from an overdose of sherry, motor oil, Liquid Plumber or any other intrusive substance, someone please tell the grand jury that it wasn't voluntary on my part.
Against the peace and dignity....I swear.
February 03, 2005, 13:10
Neel McDonald
Since it's now fashionable and commonplace for one of such obvious sophistication to enjoy a fine cigar with one's after-dinner aperatif....
February 03, 2005, 13:51
Talk about lighting a fire under someone's ***?!?!

[APM- I'm still laughing from reading your post earlier this morning. Thanks for sharing your humor, even if it is slightly on-key, but off-beat.]
February 03, 2005, 14:37
A.P. Merillat
Gregg, Andy says I'm "slightly on key" -- my question is, is being slightly on key, good enough, or do I have to figure out which string is out of tune? And as for being off-beat, well that's easy because I'm not in the percussion section. But, irregardless (to use an oxymoron), thanks anyway, Andy.
Exit only.
February 03, 2005, 16:16
I'm not doing this for anybody, anytime, ever. How is a wife persuaded to do this? Where would this "drinking" have to take place? In the bathtub? And why sherry? I thought only little old grannies drank sherry. Maybe it burns less than, oh, say, tequila? Or peppermint schnapps? Sort of lends a new meaning to "s**tfaced drunk."
February 03, 2005, 17:04
Jane, I never thought about a tequila enema. It's a startling image.

And although some jest about the details, in the end, some of our brothers and sisters will be wading through them for this case is surely bound over for a jury.

And A.P., regarding being off key or even on key for that matter, just remember, it's only out of tune if you think it is. That is the creed of the banjo-ist.

[This message was edited by Greg Gilleland on 02-03-05 at .]
February 03, 2005, 20:22
I know someone else saw the quote from the investigating detective: "I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970..."

Now, just what kind of things are they teaching in our mortuary schools Eek?

[This message was edited by Greg Gilleland on 02-03-05 at .]
February 04, 2005, 10:19
Rick Miller
Just wondering. If there are mixed drinks involved, how do you manage an olive or that little umbrella...or a celery stalk?
February 04, 2005, 10:35

Now, just what kind of things are they teaching in our mortuary schools Eek?

My guess is that people who go out this way get a discount...after all, alcohol is a preservative, so they are half embalmed already...
February 04, 2005, 12:32
Ken Sparks
The headline should have read: BOTTOMS UP!
February 04, 2005, 13:37
Just wondering. If there are mixed drinks involved, how do you manage an olive or that little umbrella...or a celery stalk?

Those so inclined with little sophistication could use a blender, those more knowledgeable in the ways of the world could use a food processor for the olive or celery.
February 04, 2005, 14:41
Having found this to be the most entertaining thread in a while, I printed a copy yesterday to share a laugh with some neighbors last night. Two of my neighbors are semi-retired and own a Fredricksburg vineyard. Upon reading this ditty, they thanked me for providing them with the niche marketing idea -- can't you see cute little ready-to-use fleet bottles containing a nice vino, perhaps some of that merlot that seems tougher to sell these days! Wine enemas by the six-pack! And there's no worry about those pesky characteristics like complexity, flavor, or bouquet!