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No way she makes it

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May 17, 2007, 11:44
Adkins
No way she makes it
Hilton's Jail Term Cut to About 23 Days
May 16, 9:06 PM EST


The Associated Press

LOS ANGELES -- Paris Hilton will serve about half of her 45-day jail sentence and will be separated from the general inmate population, authorities said Wednesday.

The hotel heiress will spend about 23 days in a "special needs housing unit" at the Century Regional Detention Center in suburban Lynwood, Los Angeles County sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

Her sentence was shortened after jail officials gave her credit for good behavior, Whitmore said. Officials considered several factors in calculating the credit, including that she appeared for her latest court date, he said.

Hilton will stay in a unit that contains 12 two-person cells reserved for police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates, he said.

Like everyone else in the 2,200-inmate facility, Hilton will get at least an hour outside her cell each day to shower, watch television, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone, he said.

The 26-year-old socialite was sentenced to jail this month for violating the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. A judge ordered her to report to jail by June 5.

A call to her lawyer, DUI specialist Richard Hutton, was not immediately returned. Her publicist, Elliot Mintz, declined to comment.
May 17, 2007, 11:54
GG
OMG! Only an hour to talk on the telephone! Shudder to think how her social life will suffer!
May 17, 2007, 12:06
JMH
who wants to wager that her hogging the pay phone for the entire hour won't go over well w/the fellow inmates. And who wants to wager that if her hour is anytime b/4 9:00 p.m., she'll have a hard time finding any of her cronies that are even up to answer? "Dude, it's 8:30 in the evening - why are you calling me this early?"
May 17, 2007, 12:35
E. Foley
Well, wait, like she can still have her cell phone in her dorm room, right? I mean, come on, if she can't at least text message her buds, that's just UNREAL--haven't you people ever heard of that whole cruel and unusual deal?

Elizabeth Foley
Ass't Crim. D.A.
Galveston County
May 17, 2007, 14:52
JohnR
How do you get good time before you show up? Is that how it worked in Texas back in the bad old days?
May 17, 2007, 15:15
JDL
Granting good time before the jail door even shuts behind you. Great public policy.

Also, did anyone else see the pictures of her smoking marijuana last month. I would post a link but I don't know how. Maybe someone with more computer skills can post the link.



May 17, 2007, 16:50
Jim Tirey
I did an internet search to find those pictures, and all of the first sites that came up were in Spanish. Yahoo has a feature that will translate foreign language pages for you, and from what I could gather from the literal translation that came up, she likes to roll her own tobacco cigarettes, thus the wrongful claim that she was smoking marihuana. Maybe she picked that habit up on that reality show she did in Arkansas. Apparently, she does it to save money.
May 17, 2007, 18:14
GG
quote:
Originally posted by E. Foley:
Well, wait, like she can still have her cell phone in her dorm room, right? I mean, come on, if she can't at least text message her buds, that's just UNREAL--haven't you people ever heard of that whole cruel and unusual deal?


I'd be surprised if she was even familiar with the concept of "cruel and unusual punishment" as a constitutional issue. I think in her case, the measure of what is cruel and unusual could be measured her acting prowess.
May 17, 2007, 21:59
JDL
Yea Paris we believe you. Most Millionaire debutants buy Bugler roll your own tobacco.


You decide -- Marijuana or Bugler

[This message was edited by JDL on 05-17-07 at .]
May 18, 2007, 13:53
APorter
I might be more inclined to believe Paris was enjoying a little extra-curricular, not-entirely-legal happy plant if that linked picture of her showed Paris using a hookah.

But having to roll her own fatty? Isn't such conduct too much "of the common people" to seem like something she would do?

Cool
May 21, 2007, 09:02
JAS
Oh, come on now. She's just tryng to be more ordinary!

JAS
May 21, 2007, 09:16
GG
I would note at this juncture, JAS, that there has yet to be a posting in this thread from A.P.

I bet if it was Rachel Ray facing time in the county slammer that AP would have something to say besides "hand me that Mastertone {banjo}".
May 21, 2007, 09:57
A.P. Merillat
Here, hold my Mastertone while I buckle up in this scooter. Hurry, before Jacques Cousteau takes this good one, oh, that's not Jacques, that's just a fat guy with a pull-behind oxygen bottle. Looks like I've got a few seconds before he comes over here, he's in line at the cigarette counter. God bless Wal Mart.
May 21, 2007, 10:02
GG
AP never fails to entertain.

Now here, can you hold my cases of beer while I get a scooter? Scott, can ya hear me?

Do ya think the Wal Mart in Corpus would loan us some scooters? We could do a celebratory loop around the crowd before we take the stage, sorta like the performers used to do in the Astrodome at the Rodeo.
May 21, 2007, 10:31
A.P. Merillat
Cases, plural? Dang, Greg. I don't know if you should be driving a scooter. Here, Scott, hold my Mastertone while I give our drummer an FST. Greg, I want you to count backwards from 74, skipping every 5th odd number, then stand on one foot while simulating a triple ratamacue (forgive my spelling, I'm slightly intoxicated with Nyquil).

I guess we could do like the old chuckwagon races at the Dome - using scooters, while piggybacked with East Montgomery County corn-fed truckstop beauties.

Please, exit only.
May 21, 2007, 11:46
Scott Brumley
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR WAL-MART SCOOTER AISLE RACING

For immediate release:

NAWScAR announced Monday that the crew chief for Team APLI will be fined two cases of beer and a pouch of Red Man for having illegal deer whistles mounted on the No. 40 Uncle Stinky's Cheese & Noodling Bait Club Car scooter which was expected to be driven in September's Corpus Christi Grits 'N Shrimp 500, scheduled to be run at the Supercenter on SPID.

When contacted during voir dire in a hotly-contested possession of an undersized fish case, driver Scott "Scooterman" Brumley commented, "you mean, they have a Supercenter on SPID?"

Other drivers for the team, who were rehearsing a banjo and drum reggae tune that is yet to be named and who commented only on condition that they not be quoted, reportedly told NAWScAR officials, "this is the keyboard dude's fault."

Uncle Stinky's had no comment about the scandal.
May 21, 2007, 11:53
GG
That's easy...69, 64, 59, 54, 49, 44, 39, 34, 24, 19, 14, 9, 4. I'm impressed you know what a triple ratamacue is.

And it is always the keyboard player's fault, a la, "Don't shoot me I'm only the piano player".

[This message was edited by GG on 05-21-07 at .]
May 21, 2007, 12:20
A.P. Merillat
Now do it in Mongolian, the lower regional dialect, as would be delivered by a Thai impressionist with laryngitis.

Ratamacue is just a little quicker than a double paradiddle.
May 21, 2007, 13:34
GG
[QUOTE]Originally posted by A.P. Merillat:
Now do it in Mongolian, the lower regional dialect, as would be delivered by a Thai impressionist with laryngitis.[QUOTE]

What, no gurgling with water?
June 07, 2007, 10:10
Gordon LeMaire
Three days and released to house arrest for "medical condition"