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Thanks for giving me at least one giggle in the midst of a hellacious week, which has been further exacerbated today by a certain officer I deal with on a pretty regular basis who insists on constantly using the misbegotten phrase: "ONE IN THE SAME" (capitalization in original, for no apparent reason).

I'm about to send him back yet another request to revise his current affidavit, which I have to submit to the court as a basis for a ruling, with a correction included saying it's "one and the same" (not that I much care for even the corrected phrase). Any bets as to whether my correction will be duly noted in future letters?
 
Posts: 102 | Location: Galveston, Texas | Registered: September 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by E. Foley:
Thanks for giving me at least one giggle in the midst of a hellacious week, which has been further exacerbated today by a certain officer I deal with on a pretty regular basis who insists on constantly using the misbegotten phrase: "ONE IN THE SAME" (capitalization in original, for no apparent reason).

I'm about to send him back yet another request to revise his current affidavit, which I have to submit to the court as a basis for a ruling, with a correction included saying it's "one and the same" (not that I much care for even the corrected phrase). Any bets as to whether my correction will be duly noted in future letters?


It's all ONE IN THE SAME, EF!
 
Posts: 2578 | Location: The Great State of Texas | Registered: December 26, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Police report reads that Defendant admitted he gave a false name because he was hoping for just a warning for having an "effective" license plate lamp. I sure hope I never get stopped for having one of those!
 
Posts: 1089 | Location: UNT Dallas | Registered: June 29, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I had a defendant's mother tell me that she didn't understand why I wanted to revoke her daughter's probation. "After all, she only picked up a couple of Mr. Meaners."

I resisted the urge to make any prostitution jokes.
 
Posts: 374 | Location: Houston, TX | Registered: July 25, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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From an offense report in a sexual assault case: "Victim stated she was not for sure if defendant wore a condom or not and was not sure she was pregnant, but she was on her minstrel cycle the day of the interview."
 
Posts: 1029 | Location: Fort Worth, TX | Registered: June 25, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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narrator: and there was great rejoicing.
minstrels: yea.
 
Posts: 1243 | Location: houston, texas, u.s.a. | Registered: October 19, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I wonder if her minstrel cycle involved singing as a member of "The New Christy Minstrels", a folk-pop group in the 60's. That group featured famous musicians like Kim Carnes and Kenny Rogers.

My parents used to make me listen to them.
 
Posts: 2578 | Location: The Great State of Texas | Registered: December 26, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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From an offense report I'm reading:
"I then asked Hernandez if he would sing a voluntary consent form."
 
Posts: 280 | Location: Weatherford, Texas | Registered: March 25, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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... at which time Hernandez broke into a rousing rendition of "Givin' it Up for Your Love."
 
Posts: 1233 | Location: Amarillo, Texas, USA | Registered: March 15, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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A case I reviewed recently revealed that the defendant knew he was too intoxicated to drive, and was pulling in to the gas station to make arraignments for a ride. Don't we love it when they do the work for us? Wink
 
Posts: 1089 | Location: UNT Dallas | Registered: June 29, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Originally posted by Scott Brumley:
... at which time Hernandez broke into a rousing rendition of "Givin' it Up for Your Love."


Followed by a rousing encore version of Judas Priest's BREAKING THE LAW, replete with air guitar...
 
Posts: 2578 | Location: The Great State of Texas | Registered: December 26, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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(Or is it reducks?)

Arrested In Stander. (As confession is good for the soul, I only post this because I read it three times trying to figure out where the )&**(&(& Stander was located!)
 
Posts: 956 | Location: Cherokee County, Rusk, Tx | Registered: July 11, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I have purposely avoided prolonging this old tired thread, but since someone else resurrected it, I couldn't resist adding this one that I just read in an offense report: Defendant had stabbed her sister-in-law with a screwdriver because she was mad at her sister-in-law for yelling at their kids. It said, "The sister-in-law began yelling and using PROFOUND language."
 
Posts: 515 | Location: austin, tx, usa | Registered: July 02, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Inmate asserts in his writ that "at the time of his sentencing, he pleged guilty to another offense."

JAS
 
Posts: 586 | Location: Denton,TX | Registered: January 08, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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From an appellate brief (sadly, not pro se):

The denied jury charge "would have given the jury the proper law to use in accessing the defendant's guilt."
 
Posts: 1116 | Location: Waxahachie | Registered: December 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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From a criminal trespass:

[he] had been band from the premises.

(Doesn't say whether it was a jamaican steel drum, rock and roll, blue grass, marching, etc.)
 
Posts: 956 | Location: Cherokee County, Rusk, Tx | Registered: July 11, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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From a supplement to a recent offense report by a jailer regarding a jail strip search (exactly as written):

I instructed subject to bend over spreading her buttocks with both hands and cough upon subject following given instruction, a pipe which is general use to injust drugs feel from subject vrgina subject stated it was not hers, that the pipe came from the pants, which she stated were not hers.
 
Posts: 1029 | Location: Fort Worth, TX | Registered: June 25, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Quote from report for Possesion of Marijuana <2oz.-- As I approached the window I detected a strong odor of burnt marijuana emancipating from the vehicle. The first time I saw this I thought he had misspelled emanating. However, after the fourth report, I knew better.
 
Posts: 106 | Location: Uvalde, Texas | Registered: May 15, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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deputy's report in former county:

"...victim sitting on the front porch plainly bleeding from where he'd been shot in the butt ox."
 
Posts: 3 | Location: Anahuac, Texas | Registered: March 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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"butt ox" is one of the best I have seen in a while.
 
Posts: 170 | Location: San Antonio, TX | Registered: May 31, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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