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You Can't Make This Up

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November 19, 2010, 13:42
JohnR
You Can't Make This Up
A federal judge who faces drug and gun charges after a stripper claimed the judge used cocaine with her is scheduled to plead guilty to some of the charges in an Atlanta federal court.
Link

[ED. Party! Woop Woop!]
December 04, 2010, 21:25
Gretchen
Jackson Conquet killed his girlfriend and hid her body...

...underneath the floor of his prison cell.

"A prisoner murdered his girlfriend and buried her body in his cell where it lay undetected for THREE months.

Dutchman Jackson Conquet confessed to strangling Leslie Paredes, 22, when she visited him at his Peruvian jail.

He killed her after she said she wanted to end their relationship and hid the body under a concrete bench he built over her grave.

Police only realised what had happened when they launched an investigation into a 'strong smell' coming from the cell.

Conquet, 32, admitted the killing at Lima's Lurigancho prison, which holds more than 8,000 inmates, many of them dangerous.

[snip]"
December 05, 2010, 10:54
JJ
Why are Dutch killers drawn to Peru? First Van der Sloot now this guy.
December 14, 2010, 12:19
JohnR
LONDON � A fireman has admitted causing the death of a farmer who was crushed to death by a herd of cows after they were startled by fire engine sirens.
Julian Lawford pleaded guilty at Exeter Crown Court to a charge of causing the death of Harold Lee by careless driving, the Press Association reported on Tuesday.

MSNBC link
December 14, 2010, 17:14
Shannon Edmonds
Inmate Gets Salami-Free Meals for Months After Citing "Seinfeld" Festivus Holiday

Monday, December 13, 2010

By Staff, Associated Press

Santa Ana, Calif. (AP) - An inmate in California who disliked salami was able to receive kosher meals after his attorney cited the "Seinfeld" holiday Festivus as his religious belief. The Orange County Register reported Monday that 38-year-old convicted drug dealer Malcolm Alarmo King asked for kosher meals at the Theo Lacy jail to maintain his physique.

The full article
December 17, 2010, 09:38
MW
Man admits conning baby sitters by posing as autistic and wearing diapers

Oklahoma City man admitted conning baby sitters by posing as an autistic and wearing diapers, police said. He said �all of these acts were for a sexual purpose,� police report.

Full story
December 17, 2010, 10:58
JohnR
There was a similar story line on an old NBC sitcom, Just Shoot Me.

From Wikipedia: Elliot also has a brother (in the episode "Slow Donnie") named Donnie. When they were kids, Elliot accidentally threw a frisbee into a tree. Donnie climbed up the tree to get the frisbee, but slipped and fell out. From then on, his brain had been severely damaged, so he was almost retarded. In the episode, it is Donnie's birthday. Elliot invited Maya along and while at the party, Donnie reveals to Maya (with no-one else in the room) that he is faking to have everything done for him and so he doesn't need to pay for anything (He still lives with his parents). Just Shoot Me Wikipedia
December 20, 2010, 22:29
Gretchen
"A Pennsylvania man says he only used a prosthetic called a Whizzinator during a court-ordered drug test because probation officials made fun of his real penis.

[snip]

Defense lawyer Anthony Rybak said his client was emasculated by comments from probation officials during previous testing and decided to use the device to avoid ridicule. Rybak says Harley 'didn't do this to trick anybody.'"

The article
December 31, 2010, 12:01
Gretchen
Man tells woman he is God, insists that he is going to have sex with her, then levitates in her living room. Then things get weird.

quote:
Paramedics took a man to a hospital for evaluation Sunday after his friend reported to police that he was talking in tongues, declaring himself God, threatening her with a knife and doing other things that were out of character.

The woman said her friend asked her to accompany him to a movie, but she suggested they watch a movie at her apartment instead.

They were having a conversation about God, she said, when he suddenly declared that he was God.

He announced that they were going to have sex. She told him that was disrespectful and he insisted that they were going to have a sexual encounter and picked up a pair of scissors, according to a police report.

She ran into the bathroom, and he threw the scissors across the room and ran into the living room.

She was fearful for him and followed. She reported that she saw him “levitate” for about 10 feet across the room. She feared he was going to go over the balcony, so she shoved a table across the door.


The blotter
January 12, 2011, 15:36
Boyd Kennedy
http://triblocal.com/orland-park/2011/01/11/man-allegedly-trained-dog-to-bite-woman-during-arguments/
January 17, 2011, 19:29
GG
Allegedly Threatened by an Alleged Rodeo Clown Transvestite

Ted Stewart, 44, became upset when a clerk at Twin Liquors on East Seventh Street refused to sell him liquor because the clerk believed Stewart was too intoxicated, the affidavit said. Stewart threatened to return to the store, kill the clerk and destroy the store, the affidavit said.

The store clerk called police and described Stewart as a "rodeo clown transvestite," according to the affidavit. It said Stewart was wearing clown makeup and carrying a Mexican flag.
January 18, 2011, 14:41
troy w
this was too good not to click on...and the prior link didn't work...so...

http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/blotter/entries/2011/01/16/police_man_dressed_as_clown_th.html?cxntfid=blogs_the_blotter
January 27, 2011, 10:23
Shannon Edmonds
HERMOSILLO, Mexico (AP story) - Drug smugglers trying to get marijuana across the Arizona-Mexico border apparently are trying a new, high-flying approach: a catapult.

National Guard troops operating a remote video surveillance system at the Naco Border Patrol Station say they observed several people preparing a catapult and launching packages from Mexico over the International Border fence last Friday evening.

The 3-yard tall catapult was found on a flatbed. It was capable of launching 2 kilograms - that's about 4 1/2 pounds - of marijuana at a time.

The smugglers had left the area before they could be captured.
January 27, 2011, 10:56
JB
Here is an actual training video used by drug smugglers to prepare for such drug-catapulting:

Details.
January 27, 2011, 10:58
JB
And here is early footage of attempts to catapult various objects, testing for the use of drugs:

Details.
January 27, 2011, 11:42
JohnR
Somehow in all the times I watched that movie I had missed one of the blasphemies. ROFL. Thanks JB.
February 08, 2011, 17:11
JohnR
A British tourist recently died after she allegedly flew to Philadelphia to get silicone injections into her buttocks at a Hampton Inn, sources say.
Police are executing a search warrant at the Hampton Inn on Bartram Avenue Tuesday afternoon with suspicions that someone is renting rooms in which he or she performs butt implant procedures, sources say.

MSNBC link
February 11, 2011, 09:16
John A. Stride
It must be Friday. A french couple was arrested for walking through the streets with the woman leading her man by a leash attached to his exposed penis!!!


http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/world/strangebuttrue/penisleash-couple-nabbed-at-shops-20110211-1aoym.html?from=smh_ft


I suppose it is silly to ask why would anyone want to do such a thing???
February 15, 2011, 10:47
JB
A Quincy man faces up to a 30-year prison sentence after an Adams County jury found him guilty Monday of possession with intent to deliver crack cocaine and obstruction of justice. The jury deliberated for two hours after hearing testimony that Moman hid a baggy containing 47 individual packages of crack cocaine in his rectum after a traffic stop in Quincy last August. Moman later defecated, and the baggy eventually slid down his leg and into his shoe before it was found, three law enforcement officers testified.

Details.
February 18, 2011, 10:30
Gretchen
Driver's own dog helps police make drug bust.
web page