I know you all have to have some amazing misspellings... what are your favorites? So far mine is a letter from a pro se inmate who continually referred to "Jedge" So-and-so.

I can't count the numbered of times I've seen adjudification or sometimes even differed adjudification. I'd write more, but I need to go to court and adjudify someone...

I recently received an affidavit from a defendant. The defendant's cousin had supplied the affidavit in which the cousin, already convicted of the same marijuana, admits to ownership and telling me that the defendant knew nothing about the marijuana. The title of this affidavit was "Alpha David" and the cousin wrote "Alpha David" three more times in the body of the affidavit.

I received a report from an officer who said he was kicked, not in the groin area, but in the "growing" area. You can make of that what you will.

Our officers usually complain about being kicked in the "groan"

I just read a victim's statement where the defendant put the victim in a "shoak" hold.

I've seen the "growing area" before, too. That's the home of the "virginia." I've also encountered "Act of David" pronounced "act-a-David" for affidavit. As in, "Can I come in and fill out one of those Act of Davids?"

Here's one from paperwork within our own courthouse: we have a number of defendants who failed to identify while a "fudgitive from justice."

I have yet to see a defendant so charged who is actually covered with chocolate.

Recently had a statutory rape case which the officer described in his offense report as a "conceptual" sexual relationship.

I have been accused by inmates of conspiraling to falsely imprison them in various writs.