[Fade in banjo music] We have a case where a guy was caught having sex or attempting to have sex with a goat. Do y'all think that fits under cruelty to animals (torture?), another statute that better fits bestiality cases, or not a crime?

Unfortunately, Jeff, the Legislature saw fit not to enact an improved cruelty to animals bill that would have solved your problem. What you are left with is probably a disorderly conduct charge if he was reckless about who saw his anus or genitals. If he was in his bedroom with the door closed, you're probably out of luck.

No. The goat is out of luck. Just like the Shagnasty twins from Hogwaller County, right, A.P.?

Perhaps they could get lover boy for burglary of a vehicle.

Remember the good old days when people just stole goats? Since cabrito is a rather celebrated form of BBQ, perhaps this could be brought as an adulterated food claim.

Check out Public Lewdness PC sec. 21.07(a)(4).

I think you could get this guy on any number of points in the cruelty to animals statute.
It could be considered torture if you ask the goat, but I am sure the goat had to deal with abandonment issues (02), if the goat was married then it could cause two animals to fight with each other (6). Also, if there were any horses around I would check to see if any got caught looking and consequently tripped (8), and, depending on the guy, the �overworked� clause might also apply.

Does anyone know how old this goat was? If it was a kid, that might just kick it up a couple of notches.

If the goat is used to transport items it could be Buggery of a Vehicle.

Notice that 21.07 criminalizes the contact of a person's genitals or mouth to the animals genitals or anus.

Notice anything missing?

The animal's mouth is fair game.

As I once heard a defense attorney point out in a similar case discussion regarding a cruelty to animals charge under a similar set of facts, who will testify that the goat thought the treatment was cruel?

Looks like public lewdness is the one to go with.

just wanted to point out that they teach it at A & M that a Kid is another name for a baby/young goat. Just in case no one got it.

While I laughed out loud at your first kid joke, I laughed even harder at the notion that they 'teach' anything at A&M.

Sounds like a Job for a Junior Prosecutor anyhow!
Of course You MAY want a seasoned Professional Prosecuter 2nd chairing this ordeal. Nothing quite like the Perry Mason Moment when a witness jumps outa the bushes and testifies for the defense on how the Goat used to be "in the business" of trading favors for Alfalfa, or how this goat was well known to "jump into any Bubba's Trailer" who drove by, known to leave her Kids at home in the pen while she toured local beer joints. Or worse yet...... when all the little goats arrive in court and look at your Judge and in unison Bleat.."DAAAAAAAAAAAD"!

Reminds me of the kid I was in FFA with in high school who was forced by the Ag teacher to rename his lamb "Baby" as punishment for having been caught in the act with it.....
I suspect he has ended up one of the folks anxiously awaiting the Leg's probation overhaul!

Alaska and Florida Consider Bans on Bestiality

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: March 21, 2009
Filed at 9:38 a.m. ET

JUNEAU, Alaska (AP) -- It's a subject that can cause nervous snickering, a little uneasiness and even a few bad jokes.

But many in the southeast Alaska community of Klawock, population 800, weren't laughing last April after a 26-year-old registered sex offender was accused of molesting a local family's pet dog.

The man was spotted by a local woman coaxing the Labrador retriever into the woods near a ball field. There he allegedly tied it to a tree, taped its muzzle shut with duct tape and had sex with it, witnesses told police at the time.
Details.

I didn't know banjo players lived in Alaska.

Technical note: Due to eye injuries from over-stressed strings in the northern climes, the mouth harp is an acceptable banjo substitute in Alaska.