Nice when a story fits more than one thread. Should be some sort of award for hitting three.

...not "remember" how they got burned.

Drunks burned

OK, this is high, not drunk...does it still count?

...hide in a liquid manure pit.

...put his privates on the veggie scale at the market.

Not satisfied that he had REALLY proved his sobriety, he told the officer that he would walk on his hands to prove his sobriety. The officer noted that the defendant had 'failed miserably' at that task, but his pockets had emptied in the process, including his pot and pipe.

When asked the standard question 'where are you coming from', the Trooper got the answer 'your mother's'

Police are trying to sort out how a couple got burned. The Knoxville News-Sentinel reported a man, 62, wouldn't tell police what happened on Tuesday and the woman kept saying the lawn mower exploded, even though there was none in the yard.

Details.

quote:

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Originally posted by JB:
Police are trying to sort out how a couple got burned. The Knoxville News-Sentinel reported a man, 62, wouldn't tell police what happened on Tuesday and the woman kept saying the lawn mower exploded, even though there was none in the yard.

http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_16032/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=LVkrbt3J

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I'm surprised that wasn't in Bastrop. We have had numerous "dousing with gasoline but the lighter wouldn't work" cases here in Bastrop over the past few years. For the most part, the victims and suspects don't seem to think it's really out of the ordinary...

From 'across the pond' as it were . . .

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7606600/Man-loses-licence-after-drink-driving-in-toy-Barbie-car.html

Authorities said a central Florida man took one last swig of alcohol while waiting to take a sobriety test.

Details.

...get into someone else's hot tub naked (without their knowledge or consent, of course...).

Details

...crack open a cold one while in the back of a police car, when also underage.

... try to drive away from the arresting officer--while that officer was sitting on him.

"He doesn't have two brain cells between his ears when drinking."

... pour vodka directly into his/her eyeball.

We have had sherry enemas and eyeball vodka. How about pouring whisky in an ear or just injecting alcohol directly into the blood stream? I recall skiers in an Australian bar 25 years ago lining up all kinds of aftershaves and lotions and taking shots. I didn't see any ill after-affects, but I wonder to this day.

Somewhere in Australia, as I type, there's a guy whistling the Old Spice theme, but he doesn't know why. Then he hums "by Mennen" and goes about his business.

... pass out naked in a bathtub with the shower running at the wrong house.

Details.

... kill someone by running a red light at 7:30 in the morning after picking up DWI convictions in three states.

Details.

...grope someone while dressed like Captain America with a burrito in his pants.

Captain America