Former Board Certified Criminal Lawyer looking for work. Able to cook, clean, polish, bend, taint, conjure, and fabricate. Prior experiance specialized in probation revocations. Job now obsolete. Offering services as shoe-shine man, garbage truck driver, or three card monty dealer. Minimum wage not required. Please drive by the courthouse to find me. I will be out on the steps in an olive suit.

Do you do windows?

You need your windows done? I could use the extra money; I don't get that fancy supplement/longevity pay just yet.