Question: Individual is fighting a ticket for failing to change address on driver's license within 30 days of move because he doesn't have an address to change it to. Definately doesn't reside at address on d.l., but is living in his car parked at various places. DPS won't let you put a P.O. Box as an address, so what could he have done? Is this a valid defense? Just wondering if anyone else has encountered something like this.

Cut the poor schmoe some slack! He's living in a van down by the river!

Go to the legislature and get them to pass a retroactive law that will allow you to punish this outlaw!

Sounds like the defendant didn't pass the attitude test, therefore he was in Contempt of Cop.

Surely the failure to change the address was not the offense that provided the PC for the stop (unless your officer has EXCELLENT vision) - so cut the guy a deal for the other offense and don't worry about the DL address issue. He may not have a good defense, but you make a good point - what could he have done with no actual place of residence?

Tell him he could always list the county jail's address as his residence if he continues his waywards ways ... and then cut him loose.

Tell him he could always list the county jail's address as his residence if he continues his "criminal" ways ()... and then cut him loose.

I liked the word "waywards" better. Although I think it belongs on "Corroboration, cowobboration."

I vote for cutting the guy a big break and cutting him loose with no further adoo and give him a gift certificate to Luby's, Whataburger or where ever for a meal as a random act of kindness.

As the now retired great District Judge Bradley Smith would say to him, "go forth and sin no more".

Or as A.P. would say, "Give him a loaf of bread and he'll eat for a day. Give him a banjo to sing for his supper with and he'll starve."

I was going to pursue this and ask for the max. In fact, I already reminded the guy that if he comes home (car) from a long day of work and decides to sit back, turn on the radio and pop open a cold beer in the privacy of his own home (car) that we'd be right there to nail him for open container. But now I've seen the error of my ways and I'm going to DQ to buy him lunch.

and they say prosecutors are heartless and mean.....ah if they only knew!

Memo
From: County Auditor
To: Assistant D.A.

Re: Meal expenses

Be advised that your request for reimbursement for lunch expense at the Dairy Queen has been forwarded to the Public Integrity Unit. I called a special session of Commissioners Court last night, which finally arrived at a quorum when Commissioner Delbert Roy Evans-Smelter was located and called out of his lodge meeting.
It is the opinion of the Court and this auditor that our county is not responsible for meals for homeless people, most certainly homeless people who are mobile, and we're absolutely not responsible for meals for mobile homeless people who have charges pending against them in traffic court. I am convinced that your attempt at reimbursement is tantamount to extortion of this county and at the least, a sneaky lawyer-trick at supplementing your already inflated income.
This county holds to a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to frivolous reimbursement requests, and it is for cases such as your questionable Dairy Queen visit that the County Public Integrity Unit was chartered and funded.

This is your notice that until the investigation into what I believe is your illicit relationship with the supposed homeless person, along with your ties to subversive, anti-county hate groups is completed, your paychecks will be held, and you will be barred from meetings of the county genealogical society.


printed on recycled county paper, let your county work for you

I'm going to pull out my copy of Future Dangerousness and read it cover to cover. I'm suspicious now that it may be a work of fiction. If there's anyone in there named Wilbur Shagnasty or Billy Bob Wayne Leroy Smith, then we'll have to have a talk with the author.

Well Jane, I can give you names & addresses of many defense "experts" who will testify, for a fee of course, that my book is in fact a work of fiction, and not even true, either. And they will probably say that none of the dead guys I talk about in my fantasy book are really dead, that they are actually living in their vehicles, lying on driver's license apps about their residence locations, taking handouts from prosecutors and other bleeding hearts.

As long as none of the dead guys are named Delbert Roy Evans-Smelter.

Dear Mr. A.P. "paperback writer" Merrillat:

Mr. Commissioner Delbert Roy Evans-Smelter has requested that you, henceforth cease and desist using his name or likeness in your "was stories" or allegories or short stories or prose or whatever you call them. Mr. Commissioner Delbert Roy Evans-Smelter has worked many long and hard years as a local commercial fisherman in the panhandle of Texas, risking life and limb to noodle, wheedle, coax and lure various gourmet fish such as gar, carp and "I don't know what kind of fish it is" for the denizens of his bailiwick. I don't think how I have to tell you how hard it is to make a successful living as a commercial fisherman in west texas.

Additionally, he is a Notary Public and has been voted Notary Public of the year for the past 7 years.

He would honorably request that you cease and desist, immediately and in perpetuity, making him the focus of your fables.

As an aside, Mr. Commissioner Delbert Roy Evans-Smelter has acheived some degree of recognition as a "lay banjo-ist" and would request that any and all references to banjos in the future in this forum not have the sarcastic or flippant tone of past references.

Cordially, for the firm,


Dewey, Cheatum and Howe

[This message was edited by Greg Gilleland on 08-26-05 at .]

[This message was edited by Greg Gilleland on 08-26-05 at .]

Did you mean bailiwick?

bail�i�wick ( P ) Pronunciation Key (bl-wk)
n.
A person's specific area of interest, skill, or authority. See Synonyms at field.
The office or district of a bailiff.


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[Middle English bailliwik : baillif, bailiff; see bailiff + wik, town (from Old English wc, from Latin vcus. See vicinity).]

Mer i ll at

"A" "." "P" "." ?

b an j o