I just got back from the National Advocacy Center in South Carolina, and one of my favorite things of the week was learning what various states call certain sexual conduct. According to one of my students from Georgia, where they are apparently much more genteel than we are in Texas, in their sexual assault statutes, the prohibited body parts are referred to as "the intimate parts of a woman" or "intimate parts of another." (You must say these words with a Southern accent to get the full effect.) I thought this seemed rather vague, so I looked it up in their code, and "intimate parts" is not only the genitals and breasts, but extends to various other nether regions, including the "groin, inner thighs, and buttocks." Again, this seems rather vague. How far up on an inner thigh would you have to touch to be convicted? Where is the line of demarcation for "inner" as opposed to front and back? For that matter, where does the groin begin and end?

In Indiana, sodomy is defined as "the abominable and detestable crime against nature with mankind or beast." Having never been to Indiana, I will leave commentary on this one up to others!

Well, Jane, apparently this sensitivity to our private parts has reached prison society. Leaving soon, from your local prison, is any material that shows frontal nudity. Playboy is protesting. Read the story.

Does this mean that TDC inmates truly should only read Playboy for the articles? And will Playboy produce a special Prison Edition for that purpose. Don't forget that they once complained about the government discontinuing funding for a braille edition.

A braille edition of Playboy? I just don't think I'll go there.

This has all the earmarks of being one of the most viewed posts on this site! Way to go, Jane! All of the "less than genteel" prosecutors throughout the Great State of Texas await the answers to the questions posed in your post regarding lines of demarcation...

groin

\Groin\, n. 1. (Anat.) The line between the lower part of the abdomen and the thigh, or the region of this line; the inguen.

That helps to define the vertical lines of demarcation, but how far horizontally does the groin extend?

Sorry Jane, but the Georgia case law doesn't seem to provide much insight. In both Nelson, 565 S.E.2d 551, 554 and Price, 556 S.E.2d 168, 170 the witnesses (and the reviewing court) seem to know it when they see it- no in- depth description of the inner thigh required. Only cases I could find on the groin were aggravated assault rather than sexual touching. Of course, that sort of conduct could certainly leave you bent over pretty quickly, if not horizontal. What were you supposed to be learning at this course?

If you take the width of the lap, add it to half the distance from the top of the knee to the center of the belly button, then divide that by 2 1/3, you will have the dimensions and demarcation of the groin for any human being. Of course, before making measurements, first put down the bag of Cheetos. And, if the subject being measured happens to stand up, then you'll have to wait 'till he/she sits down again to take the measurements. While you're waiting, you can peruse a Braille edition of Playboy or perhaps the latest TDS publication, "Deadly Speculation" -- which is a pain in my groin, wherever that is. Let me get my ruler.

While you were in South Carolina, did you reciprocate by teaching them the proper response to concrete truck drivers who are not driving as they should?

SC is a state that doesn't even have a mandatory seat belt law. I suspect they already know about the universal gesture at concrete truck drivers. Anyway, the bulk of our time last week, besides debating what Georgia calls the male equivalent of "intimate parts of a woman" (suggestions being "the coarse, vulgar parts of a man" [which must be pronounced "may-un"] and "shining saber of manhood"), was spent discussing the startling performance of a faculty member from Salt Lake City who, in his opening statement demonstration, used the "d-word" to describe the intimate parts of a man in the context of a rape case. Mercy!

Jane, are you sure this wasn't a romance novel workshop that you attended?

Nope, it was Trial Ad I -- teaching baby prosecutors. The example cases involved a rape case, despicable, unnatural acts between mankind (no beasts), and a burglary with an attempted sexual assualt.

Doesn't anyone want to comment on the Indiana law?