I'd like to hear how these items reduce stress.


March 13, 2007, 11:15AM
Man with foreign objects in rectum faces deportation

LOS ANGELES � An Iraqi immigrant faces deportation after triggering a security scare at Los Angeles International Airport when authorities found a suspicious device lodged in his body, officials said.

Fadhel Al-Maliki, 35, of Atlantic, N.J., prompted the alert March 6 during a screening for a flight to Philadelphia when he tried to go through security with two objects in his rectum. The FBI said he told screeners the objects, a polished stone and a piece of metal, were used to fight stress.

That wasn't enough to constitute a federal offense, FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller said. However, immigration agents reviewed Al-Maliki's case and said they found two violent convictions on his record.

The convictions for domestic violence and possession of an illegal weapon violate the terms of Al-Maliki's status as a permanent U.S. resident and make him subject to deportation, said Lori Haley, a spokeswoman for Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Haley said she had no details on the convictions, and that it wasn't clear when deportation proceedings would begin.

A US Airways plane bound for Philadelphia was diverted because Al-Maliki's checked luggage had been screened and put aboard without him.

Clearly, he was on his way to a recreational "rock, paper, scissors" tournament. He couldn't carry the scissors on the plane because of TSA regulations, and the paper filled up his carry-on. Undoubtedly, he wanted to get in some pramatic practice before the tournament, so he needed ready access to all the implements of his trade.

This thread is beginning to sound a lot like another one about the other way to imbibe sherry. Seems like sherry might actually make a difference, at least in the short term!

JAS

Is it too late for Brazoria County to make him an honorary sherry imbiber?

The real safety issue arose when they discovered the metal was steel and the rock was flint.

With the sherry, he would have been very combustible too.

JAS

Uuuuhhhh... No thanks, Doc. I'll just be stressed. Just thinking about that stress reduction technique stresses me out.

Exit Only

It's a good deal terrorists don't use banjos...

or do they?

Maybe all these unusual "back-practices" help with doodling -- or whatever that practice of catching catfish by hand is called.

JAS

John, John, John...as Buddy Ebson used to oft lament about his nephew Jethro in his hit TV show the Beverly Hillbillies...

I'm going to have to have a talk with that boy.

quote:

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Originally posted by GG:

I'm going to have to have a talk with that boy.

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That would be a LOOONNNGGG talk. With that boy