Police: Man Hides In Bathrooms, Drinks Boys' Urine

Man Previously Convicted Of Rape

UPDATED: 10:04 am EST February 27, 2006

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A Central Ohio man allegedly told police last week that he likes to drink the urine of adolescent boys.

Alan Patton, 54, is in jail after allegedly telling Gahanna, Ohio, police about his affection for urine.

Police said Patton goes to family restaurants and movie theaters and waits for boys in a bathroom stall. Investigators said he shuts off the water to the child-level urinal and puts a cup in the bottom.

"He goes back and retrieves the cup and drinks the urine," Detective Ron Fithen said.

Patton allegedly told police that he leaves the stall after the child leaves.

Fithen interviewed Patton after he was arrested while leaving a movie theater last weekend.

"Listening to him describe it, it's like listening to a crack or cocaine addict. He's addicted to children's urine," Fithen said.

According to police, Patton said he's been drinking urine for years.

"He told us he's been doing it over 40 years, since he was 7 years old," Fithen said.

Police said Patton told them it makes him sick, but that it's almost spiritual to him. He allegedly added, "I like it because it makes me closer to them -- like I'm drinking their youth."

A New Albany, Ohio, father played a role in Patton's arrest. He told someone at a movie theater that Patton was staring at his son in the bathroom. The theater employee then called police.

Officials said Patton is a registered sexual predator, who was convicted of rape 13 years ago.

Police believe Patton has been collecting and drinking urine in cities around Central Ohio, including Hilliard, Westerville, Dublin, Worthington and Gahanna.

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The article doesn't actually say what the man was arrested for. Assuming he's properly registered as a sex offender, ... what's the crime???

This explains the urine shortage in Ohio. Probably something to do with global warming. Would drinking men's urine be a lesser included offense?

A gazillion years ago, when I was a police officer in Dallas, a man was arrested by another officer one beautiful Sunday morning in a local park looking for and consuming the contents of used condoms. The officer, who was also a part-time minister, arrested him because certainly, that had to be against the law. Of course, the man was released.

Glad I read that after lunch

Okay, I don't see a criminal offense in the two above scenarios, but at least the urine drinking has got to be a danger to self. Just a thought.

In other words, he committed "Public (Ur-)Intoxication."

OK, Shannon, you are under arrest for bad joking. A serious pun violation. In other words, urine trouble.

You know the old saying, "Better to be p*ssed off then p*ssed on."