All the stories about sherry enemas, noodling and naked prosecutors find their way onto the criminal forum. Then I post and immediately degrade the discussion to the lowest common denominator. No longer should such frivolity be restricted to the domain of the prosecutorial set. In that spirit, I offer the experience I just had in hopes of hearing from some of you about some of the "unorthodox" experiences you've had in dealing with the non-criminal end of our duties.

As the elected CAs will know, we are periodically asked to sign off (along with the county judge and sheriff) on applications for temporary permits to sell beer. I just signed an usual one.

Our local Buddhist organization (roughly comparable to the Knights of Columbus, I think) is applying for a permit to sell beer at a "tournament of badminton" to raise money for renovation of their monastery. I don't know whether to be pleasantly amused or offended that I wasn't invited. I strike a shuttlecock with some authority, don't you know.

Well, Scott, don't be fooled by the red herring of the request for a beer permit. Look closely at the story behind the story: akin to dog fights, hunting deer with dogs, catching ducks on a trot line and other inhumane forms of entertainment -- your applicants know well that the shuttlecock could be someone's great grandaddy who was caught with bad karma and came back as such an object. I think they're trying to whack somebody's ancestor and make sport of it. Careful, man.

Better be careful Brumley, I hear there is some heavy drinkin' going on at those Buddist badminton matches. I hear they are worse than the bare knucks fights they have at the Houston Ship Channel on paydays. And be thankful you weren't invited, those Buddist crowds are often worse than the euro soccer crowds in their drinking and random mob violence.

I can think of nothing else civil to say.

At this time, of course.

I can't seem to work "off-beat," "naked prosecutor," and "shuttlecock" into a witty reply that can be posted in such an esteemed forum.

Maybe next time...

Buddhist badminton hooligans are no laughing matter.