Isn't that the opening line to a joke by the late Buddy Hackett?

We like our criminals naked. Its easier to search for officer safety. Just ask Joe Willis

http://www.palestineherald.com/archivesearch/local_story_185034131.html

http://www.palestineherald.com/archivesearch/local_story_227141419.html

Quote from the linked article: ""One of the things they asked me is how can you tell he was naked. I said 'I saw the two cheeks bouncing, running away'," said Tomlinson."

KBTX

Yeah, you couldn't confirm nudity with just one cheek bouncing.

Now let's not be too hasty. What is the sight of one cheek bouncing? If only one cheek bounces, is that nudity?

What's the remedy for a bounced cheek? Does it depend on how big the cheek was? Is notice required?

A debate continues in Northern Virginia that is bringing the issue of civil liberties to the national stage. A 29-year-old Springfield man says he was making coffee in the nude was arrested after a neighbor saw him, and on Wednesday police were back out in his neighborhood looking for others who might have seen him.

Details.

Shades of George Castanza, G.

I guess they have Seinfeld reruns in China. But did you notice that in the picture that accompanies the article, the black coverup strip is horizontal and not very wide? Maybe this guy actually made that line up himself, without ever knowing about George.

One would hope.

Full-body scanners don't really show you naked
By Helen Anders

Not even close.

Details.

The Netherlands announced Wednesday it will immediately begin using full body scanners for flights heading to the United States, saying that could have stopped the attempted Christmas Day airline bombing.


Details.

[Most creative argument made by lawyer against use of scanner: it creates child pornography. Most creative response: use of software to impose "stylized image" over the naughty parts. Who gets to choose that image? What does it look like?]

Hundreds of New Yorkers have been riding the city's subway trains in their underwear.

They stripped down to their undies on Sunday for the ninth annual No Pants Subway Ride.

The idea is to act like nothing unusual is going on.

Participants met up at six locations throughout the city. They formed groups and dispersed to subway stations to catch trains. Once inside the subway cars, they began calmly removing their pants and folding them up.

Details.

My brother was passed by a streaker at Freddy's in Austin yesterday. Shortly after he was passed by an upset Freddy's manager.

We were at Freddie's yesterday for the first time. Missed the Streak action. But really enjoyed Freddie's.

What's worse than a streaker running through a family picnic?

A streaker with a banjo playing some arcane mountain folk tune running through a family picnic.

A 36-year-old Sheboygan woman who allegedly stripped in front of her kids in a drunken attempt to avoid a shoplifting arrest is going to jail.

Details.

Nudity in combat is the practice of entering combat without clothing and armor. It is rarely practiced because, apart from the social aspects of nudity, the combatant lacks even the basic protection of clothes, e.g. when diving for cover, or crawling. Also the combatant misses the practicality of hiding/carrying objects in pockets and attached to clothes.

Details.

Three men with no clothes on traveled in the Moscow subway early on Sunday after betting with young women, police said.

The three friends undressed and entered the Novogireyevo station in the Russian capital's east after midnight.

Moscow subway