This thread is for stories with the word "naked." The media will publish any story involving a naked person. If you want a press release published, work in the word "naked" in the headline.


Collision involved naked couple

Investigators think that alcohol was a factor in a head-on collision in Comal County on July 18 in which two victims were pulled from their car naked.

"The only thing they had on was the radio . . . and their seat belts," Department of Public Safety Cpl. Rick Alvarez said.

On the evening of July 18, Lisa Marie Bishop, 25, of Austin was driving north on FM 1102 north of New Braunfels when she went around a curve and swerved into the southbound lane, crashing head-on to a truck driven by Juan Montoya, 49, of New Braunfels, Alvarez said.

Montoya was not injured. Bishop sustained injuries that were not life-threatening, but her passenger, 26-year-old Robert Rydeen of Austin, was airlifted to San Antonio and was in stable condition Monday, officials said.

Bishop told investigators that she and Rydeen had been at Schlitterbahn Waterpark and had removed their wet clothes for the drive home, Alvarez said. Investigators found some wet clothes in the car as well as evidence of alcohol consumption.

Alvarez said that in his 13 1/2 years as a DPS trooper, he had never before investigated a crash involving nude drivers.

"But she's from Austin," he said, "and I figure Austin folks are a little different."

[This message was edited by JB on 08-25-07 at .]

[This message was edited by JB on 08-25-07 at .]

I guess it is no surprise why there is no Schlitterbahn in Williamson County, now is there?

"The only thing they had on was the radio . . . "

priceless.

One of my favorite ALR stories from back in the first days fits this thread nicely. A Tarrant County deputy notice a car parked in an odd location of the highway and pulled over to check it out. When he walked up to the car two heads popped up from the back seat. Apparently the couple, both in their birthday suits, had been engaged in the horizontal bop. The deputy was going to cite the couple for disorderly conduct, when the woman jumped behind the wheel and took off! A "naked" pursuit ensued. Eventually, officers got the car stopped and the driver ended up going to jail for DWI, etc. All of the ALR attorneys were eagerly anticipating the ALR hearing (amazingly, she asked for one!). I think cooler heads prevailed, and her attorney withdrew the request.

This wasn't the only naked driver case I encountered while doing ALR hearing. I guess alcohol and no clothes go together <grin>

Janette A

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent/celebrities/5010498.html

July 30, 2007, 9:55AM
Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband found naked in car, claims he was mugged

Associated Press
SANTA MONICA, Calif. � Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, who made headlines earlier this year when he claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, said Friday he was stripped, robbed and left naked in his Rolls-Royce by three women.

Frederic Von Anhalt called police about 10 a.m. Thursday to say he'd been driving on Bellagio Road behind the Bel Air Country Club when he was flagged down by three women in a white Chrysler convertible with Florida plates, said Los Angeles Police Department spokesman Kevin Maiberger.

Von Anhalt said he thought the three women wanted to pose for a photograph with him, but when he started talking to them, one of them pushed a gun into his neck.

"All of a sudden I felt a pressure on my neck. She said to me, 'It's the real thing, don't move," Von Anhalt told reporters outside a Santa Monica courtroom Friday, following a hearing in which his wife was ordered to pay nearly $4,000 for failing to attend an earlier court session in an ongoing lawsuit against her daughter.

"And then they took everything off me. Took my watch off, my expensive watch. I'm completely in the nude," said Von Anhalt, who uses the royal title prince, which he says was given to him by a German princess who adopted him.

"He was found naked in the front seat," Officer Sandra Gonzalez said. He was not injured.

Von Anhalt said one woman took the keys from his Rolls-Royce Phantom then handcuffed him to the steering wheel. The police say no handcuffs were found when they arrived.

In February, von Anhalt announced he believed he was the father of Smith's daughter, Dannielynn. Von Anhalt said he carried on a decades-long affair with the former Playboy Playmate of the Year.

DNA tests later proved Smith's ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead was the baby's father.

Von Anhalt was in court Friday for a hearing in the lawsuit he and Gabor filed against Gabor's daughter, Francesca Hilton.

Superior Court Judge Jacquelin Connor ordered Gabor, 90, to pay a penalty for missing an earlier court appearance in the lawsuit, even though her lawyers had provided the court with a doctor's note explaining Gabor's absence at the previous hearing.

Gabor and her ninth husband claim in the lawsuit that Hilton � Gabor's daughter with the late hotel magnate Conrad Hilton � stole $2 million by forging her mother's signature to take out a loan on Gabor's $14 million Bel-Air home.

The lawsuit, which alleges elder abuse, fraud and intentional infliction of emotional distress, alleges that Hilton used money from that transaction to buy a Laurel Canyon property and invest in a phantom company in New York.

Connor set a Sept. 14 trial date and ordered Gabor to pay $1,840 to Hilton's attorney, Ronald Richards, and $2,040 to the notary in the case.

Gabor did not appear in court � Von Anhalt said she was too sick to do so. The purported prince expressed disappointment with the judge's decision.

"I always said America is the best country to live. But in Europe we respect older, sick people. We don't drag them to court," he said.

Hilton did not speak to reporters, but Richards called the judge's decision to penalize Gabor a victory. He said the lawsuit is groundless.

"My client has been the victim of scurrilous allegations," Richards said. "She will have her day in court."

Richards questioned the veracity of Von Anhalt's reported robbery.

"It's an uncorroborated alibi, about as fantastical as him being the father of Anna Nicole's child," Richards said.

Hilton, born in 1947, is the only child from Gabor's marriage to the hotel magnate. She is a great-aunt to Paris and Nicky Hilton.

See, even Frederic Von Anhalt knows not to be naked in Williamson County.

Let's see, we went from:

Naked in a car, because three women in a Chrysler convertible with Florida plates robbed him.

To; a discussion of a court case involving Paris Hilton's aunt. Who happens to be his wife's daughter. And his wife had to pay a penalty for a missed court appearance and the suit is groundless."

Damn, I truly lead a sheltered life.

Paris sometimes drives a Bentley and her uncle was driving a Rolls-Royce. Competitors Volkswagen and BMW must be enjoying good incomes thanks to the extended Hilton family--though I'm not sure their activities do much for the prestige of the cars.

JAS

[This message was edited by JAS on 07-31-07 at .]

Man exposed as a robber, College Station police say

By MATTHEW WATKINS
Eagle Staff Writer


Police officers are used to seeing a bit of everything in their line of work.

But early Thursday, a College Station officer may have seen a bit too much.

When police looking for a robber approached a man, he dropped his pants and exposed himself, officers said. He was arrested and the stolen property was recovered, according to police.

"I have no idea why he did that," Sgt. Mike Pavelka said.

Raymond Earl Williams, 20, of Bryan, was arrested on charges of robbery, possession of cocaine, interference with an emergency call and indecent exposure. He remained in the Brazos County Jail on Thursday night in lieu of $49,395 bail.

Naked man tries to take officer's weapon, is arrested
09:49 PM CDT on Friday, August 24, 2007

From Staff Reports
A naked man was arrested Thursday at the Frank Crowley courts building in Dallas after he tried to take a weapon from an investigator for the Dallas County district attorney's office.

A receptionist saw the man take off his clothes and then called for help. A prosecutor saw Desi Antonio Smalley, 33, begin to run into the stairwell and stopped him. A district attorney's office investigator tried to help when Mr. Smalley put his hand on the officer's weapon.

Mr. Smalley was handcuffed and taken into to the Dallas County Jail. He is charged with trying to take a weapon from a peace officer.

The incident happened on the 11th floor where District Attorney Craig Watkins has his office.

JB, do you have a google alert for news stories in Texas with the word naked in them?

quote:

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Originally posted by JB:
A receptionist saw the man take off his clothes and then called for help. A prosecutor saw Desi Antonio Smalley, 33, begin to run into the stairwell and stopped him. A district attorney's office investigator tried to help when Mr. Smalley put his hand on the officer's weapon.

---

It's hard to believe a newspaper would get some details wrong, but:

Not a receptionist, but a clerk for the Check Division in the DA's Office.

She didn't see him take off his clothes. She saw him completely naked but attempting to put his underwear back on.

The Prosecutor (The Chief of the Check Division who is a Marine who served in Vietnam and who had had surgery just two weeks prior) did not see him begin to run into the stairwell and stop him. Someone else in the area tipped off the Prosecutor that the suspect was already in the stairwell. Prosecutor opened the door and saw the suspect still without his underwear completely on and trying to get his shorts pulled up. Prosecutor then pulled him back out of the stairwell.

Another Prosecutor (who is a Black Belt in some Martial Arts discipline) took the suspect to the ground.

Several Investigators then surrounded the suspect. Suspect did attempt to remove the gun of one of the Investigators, but could not because the holster had a locking mechanism.

Whew. Thanks for clearing that up.

I think Nick deserves a medal for that. I wouldn't put my hands on some random naked guy like that.

But nonrandom would be OK?

I'm up late screening cases and my husband's gone to bed, so y'all are the only ones to tell this sad tale(sniff, sniff). An officer found our friend in a parking lot around 2 a.m. He watched the guy take off all of his clothes and lay down in the driveway. Naked guy then started making "snow angels" in the gravel. He proceeded to jump up and run across the parking lot toward a wooded area, but ran into a large tree head-on (sorry, couldn't resist!). He fell onto the ground. Jumped up, fell down. Jumped up, fell down. EMS and other officers arrived. Another officer then found a rock of crack in naked guy's jeans, which he had been holding in his arms. Naked guy of course expresses outrage at the injustice of being charged with possession when not only is the rock not his, in fact the jeans themselves are not even his. I've heard, "Those aren't my pants!" before, but the gravel angels aspect of this is a new one to me.

quote:

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Originally posted by E. Foley:
Another officer then found a rock of crack in naked guy's jeans, which he had been holding in his arms.

---

I know that was a big surprise when you were reading the offense report, to find that your naked gravel angel maker was, in fact, a crackhead.

Another naked crime that didn't occur in Williamson County.

And this is just a guess, but does your perp happen to be wild-haired and wild-eyed?

Ha ha, JB. I wouldn't get anywhere near the perpetrator, random or not. "Officer, arrest that man!"

Nude woman dies in hit-run incident

A nude woman was struck by a motorist who fled the scene in the 14500 block of Tomball Parkway shortly after 1 a.m. Friday morning, the Harris County Sheriff's Department reported.

Other vehicles also struck the woman after she was knocked down in southbound lane of the road, deputies reported. Drivers of those vehicles stopped. The woman was dead at the scene.

Some women's clothing, shoes and a small coin purse were found in the parking lot of a nearby business, deputies reported. Investigators did not know if the woman walked into traffic on purpose. An autopsy is to be conducted by the Harris County Medical Examiner's Office.

[The word naked does not appear in the story, but it does begin with a carnival worker and then there is sex mentioned, so it seemed appropriate for this thread. Others have suggested that it go in the Unusual Defense thread. You decide.]

Back-seat sex caused wreck, driver says
Man says wild intercourse by pair threw SUV off balance, leading to crash
The Associated Press
Updated: 8:25 p.m. CT Sept 18, 2007
MOSCOW, Idaho - A 22-year-old carnival worker blames two friends having sexual intercourse in the back seat of his SUV for an accident in which his Chevrolet S-10 Blazer struck a telephone pole.

Joshua D. Frank, who is living in a trailer parked on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. That's after he left the vehicle at the site of the mishap. He was fined $188.

Frank told Moscow Police Department officers that he was driving the vehicle near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle.

According to a probable cause affidavit, Frank told authorities that the actions of the pair in the back caused the Blazer, which "was top heavy anyway," to become "tippy" and lose control.

Frank left the accident scene with a minor head wound and returned to his trailer.

The other two occupants of the vehicle were treated for injuries, according to the affidavit, though further information on their condition wasn't available.

I list the reasons why from the text:


1. carnival worker (really, that alone is reason enough for a banjo soundtrack)

2.blames two friends having sexual intercourse in the back seat of his SUV for an accident in which his Chevrolet S-10 Blazer.

3. struck a telephone pole. (stationary object, starting to think alcohol might be involved. Perhaps homemade liquor of some variety)

4. Joshua D. Frank, who is living in a trailer parked on the Latah County Fairgrounds, pleaded guilty Monday; (so why wasn't he letting his friends get after it in his trailer? More 'citing in the truck, I s'pose. Again, the lively banjo refrain accompanies this story)

5. Frank told Moscow Police Department officers that he was driving the vehicle near downtown early Saturday while a man and woman were having sex in the rear of the vehicle. (the picturesque backround of downtown Moscow, Texas provides the romantic backdrop to the banjo serenade)

6. Frank left the accident scene with a minor head wound and returned to his trailer. (Like the swallows to Capistrano)

I'm not surprised it didn't happen in Williamson County, but I am surprised he didn't blame it all on the head wound.