Will we be able to seize and forfeit the pom-poms?

And allege "hips" to be a deadly weapon?

Gotta say that we got some officers, deputies and constables (not to mention myself) that I am going to have a really hard time envisioning having them step down from the witness chair and demonstrate to the best of their abilities just what little hip shaking/shimmy move they witnessed the defendant(s) doing during the halftime show. We've seen Mr. Bradley during the predicate bowl. Add about 100 + lb.s and try to make it sexy.... uuuhhh..... no.

So, why not just extend authority to the referees on the field to throw a flag upon spying a "sexually suggestive" move, and penalize the team they are cheering on behalf. Much like the rule that imposes a penalty on the home team if the crowd fails to quiet down when the offense indicates they can't hear the signals.

Perhaps the punishment for a violation should be an immidiate dowsing with an ice-cold cooler full of Gatorade(to help cool the situation down) and its readily available. After all, "justice delayed is justice denied".
Further, it appears probation will be ineffective after reading the lastest TDCAA fax.

along the same lines, would a "wardrobe malfunction" along the lines of Ms. Jackson's (if ya nasty) constitute an aggravated offense? Aggravated Booty Shakin?

Where was this legislation in the 70's when routines were performed to the classic hits such as "Shake Your Booty" and "Shake Your Groove Thing"? Aggravating facts by the very nature of the song. Which brings up an interesting point....What happens to the fans who mihgt want to "dance" along in the stands? Does the law of parties(pun intended)apply to them?

Or depending on how many times this continuous and obviously "organized" criminal activity takes place and with at least three people - are we going to have some Chapter 71 cases? Hey what about initiating a "booty shaking free zone" and adding that enhancement? And I think that anyone caught throwing ice and/or cold water or gatorade on the subjects could themselves be charged as a party. Hey if you are taking photos or filming this in order to use as evidence for this new law, how does that fit into PC Section 21.15 Improper Photography or Visual Recording? Is it a defense to 21.15 that you are doing so to gather evidence of illegal cheerleading activities?

I can just imagine the defense claim that their cute little client can't get a fair shake. Or that they are being ground up by the criminal justice system.

I, for one, am glad that this is being taken seriously! You all know that us poor investigators are always on the look out for part-time income supplementation.

Just imagine, being paid to go to Friday Night football games and closely observe both squads for violations. No more need to work S.T.E.P. or similar boring jobs, now we may have Boom-Boom Patrol to look forward to. I wonder what it pays?

And just think of the side benefits. If mama gets to wondering why we are looking at the cheerleaders instead of the plays on the field we can just say "don't interupt me, dear, I'm working."

Eternal vigilence is the price of freedom!

The Daily Show's roving reporter did a report on our new ban on bumping and grinding last night. It was a real tribute to our legislature and their fearless stand on this threat to society. The best part was that the sponsor of the bill said it would help eliminate AIDS and "the herpes."