At last, California officials have uncovered the baffling reason for Michael Jackson's bizarre behavior over the last decade. It all makes sense, now. Read on.

It appears that the corpse was escorted into the courtroom this morning only to burst into tears. How messed up was he? A 20 second snippet of video was enough for me to decide he was laboring under about 5 or 6 oxycontins. Late to court twice during a trial? My judge would provide him with hard lodgings close by.

Now we know why it can take California up to 6 months to try a major felony or murder case. I read in the paper that the Court proceeds as follows:

Begin in the morning, 3 ten minute breaks, no lunch, hear testimony for 6 hours then adjourn. No court on Fridays.