It's getting to be that time of the year when we talk about fun at the Annual in Corpus Christi. Here's an idea: JAIL MAIL THEATER. I suggest that we all gather up the best jail mail we can find. Three entries per person max. We will gather (forum to be determined, but somewhere where alcohol is served), and read the jail mail to the audience. You must read the mail "in character" of the person writing the mail. Who's in?

Sort of the prosecutor's version of an English major's poetry reading? Will there be a podcast version for downloading?

I was thinking of it more as a prosecutor's version of a beatnik coffeehouse poetry reading. But more fun, and without the black turtlenecks. AP? GG? Brumley? I know y'all are in, right? Maybe there needs to be a prize offered. Any suggestions?

You don't even have to ask, you KNOW we're in. I'm bringing mini congos for those who desire to accompany themselves. I'm sure that our band percussionist/bassist, Mr. Neilson, will be happy to provide impromptu percussive support for those who wish assistance. You may just refer to Mr. Neilson as Maynard Krebs from now on. Get started on that goatee, E.

Perhaps even an appearance by Cortez Templeton.

Now, what could we have as a prize... ?

Unfortunately, like Jimmy Buffett, we've all taken to drinking lemonaid these days. But I know my friends in Corpus can find us the ideal nightspot locale that serves lemonaid in which to proceed in a dignified and responsible manner. And hopefully close to the seminar hotel.

I veto any podcasting or recording. We gotta live for the moment. I think any recording would inhibit the performances.

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lord.

Not bad, Newell, not bad at all. I think that is what Jane is talking about. I take it you're in, Mr. N?

Great idea, btw, Jane. I've got a doosie from a aryan bro member threatening to kill me. Do I have to get tattoos to read it? My guy had lots of tattoos...

[This message was edited by GG on 06-16-07 at .]

No, you don't have to really get tats or wear a wig or makeup to get in character. You will be expected to do the voice and mannerisms of your character, though. We'll use our imaginations for the rest.

I hereby nominate Jane for the best idea for a seminar entertainment activity ever! Who needs pool activities or dominos? I'm sure the band will cover your lemonaid tab as some form of recompense for devising this hilarious activity!

Perhaps AP could provide, where requested, the appropriate West Virginia five stringed lute backing in addition to Maynard Neilson on the bongos.

It's something we all get, we all have marveled at the folksy humor and the expression of differing value systems in these unique communiques, and there are some very humorous folks in our profession to do a little performance art for their peer entertainment and appreciation.

Since it's your idea, you should be mistress of ceremonies, Jane. I can't imagine anyone who could be funnier.

C'mon Stacey, Wannarka, KMH, Gretsch, JAS, Chicken Man. ML, KS, and all of you other letter recipients. Let's get working on this.

As prizes, perhaps we could all collect corporate and non-profit "gimmes" from our respective jurisdictions. You know, all those koozies, t-shirts, hats, fun run shirts, keychain lights, etc that the various government, non-profit and corporate entities give away at public events. If we all bring five items, we could throw them in a bag and give prizes. But lets try to get the good gimmes.

For instance, I know the Women's Banjo Association of The Deep East Texas Piney Woods probably gives away free halter tops emblazened with their motto, which escapes me at this time. A.P. would know about that.

But I'm sure Rick Miller or Jane or Scott can remind me of their slogan...

[This message was edited by GG on 06-17-07 at .]

[This message was edited by GG on 06-17-07 at .]

[This message was edited by GG on 06-17-07 at .]

perhaps the house band can perform a rendition of the old classic (cough, cough) from G 'N R Lies . . .

"I used to love her, but I had to kill her, she's buried right in my backyard."

of course i'm down for a "happening" as long as it doesn't freak me out and i get to do a bongo solo like fonzie (before he jumped the shark).

quote:

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Originally posted by David Newell:
perhaps the house band can perform a rendition of the old classic (cough, cough) from G 'N R Lies . . .

"I used to love her, but I had to kill her, she's buried right in my backyard."

of course i'm down for a "happening" as long as it doesn't freak me out and i get to do a bongo solo like fonzie (before he jumped the shark).

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Have you ever heard the Issac Peyton Sweatt song "I'm gonna kill you (and bury you in a box about half your size)"? Ironically, right there in the land of sugar, Fort Bend County, Issac was alleged to have committed suicide in the early 90's while on the cusp of his second major success in 4 decades of music making. Freddy and Jimmy Mc handled the case.

Issac is famous for penning "The Cotton Eyed Joe". He initially played with Johnny Winter in the 60's, losing the bass seat to Austin newcomer Tommy Shannon right as Winter signed with CBS in 1967. Tommy Shannon, who you might recall, later rose to fame with Stevie Ray, Arc Angels and Storyville and now plays all over ATX.

Issac Peyton Sweatt and the Sweatt band were a fixture all over the Houston area for many years, until his untimely death. You didn't get more outlaw country than Issac. He was a rascal but a likeable one. At times.

Maybe the house band can learn that one. It's just another love gone wrong song.

I sure hate to miss this wonderful event but I'm planning on giving birth that week.

Such a shame too, I have quite a collection of love notes from former frienemies.

Someone has to tape it for those of us that can't be there !!!

You should have an art gallery showing too. Some of my best letters came with lovely illustrations.

Send me copies of your collection and I'll present them as your proxy.

Only if you also pretend you are Stacey, pretending to be an inmate.

JB, you of all people should know there is no way ANYONE could pretend to be SB. The one, the only...Besides, I wouldn't look good pregnant.

I think the show-stopper might actually be:

JB's ventriloquist routine, with GG pretending to be Charlie McCarthy (watch your knees, John, Greg ain't as light as Charlie)pretending to be SB pretending to be an inmate, pretending to read his own forlorn letter, a last attempt at relief, to a Congressional Committee on corrections.

quote:

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Originally posted by A.P. Merillat:
I think the show-stopper might actually be:

JB's ventriloquist routine, with GG pretending to be Charlie McCarthy (watch your knees, John, Greg ain't as light as Charlie)pretending to be SB pretending to be an inmate, pretending to read his own forlorn letter, a last attempt at relief, to a Congressional Committee on corrections.

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while juggling three plates and gargling with lemonaid.

I might have to postpone my stay in the hospital to see that !

let me get this straight now. jb is the ventriloquist who sits gg on his knee as a puppet prentending to be sb pretending to be an inmate writing a letter TO sb while either gg or jb juggle three plates while either one of them gargles lemonade for the delight and amusement of . . . sb.

and they say Lost is confusing.

Well, I'm lost. Who is on the borrowed Wal-mart scooters? The ventriloquist? The house band? The audience?

I don't know who's on the house band, but I reserve the right to object. Noodlers and banjo artistes are one thing, but the guys and gals in the max cell block are quite another.

If I am to be portrayed, I insist on artistic discretion to ensure the proper level of pompousness and pretentiousness. Accuracy of portrayal also demands that GG be able to feign competence about the subject matter in only the most superficial of ways.

Rock on.