I did a brief search, and was not able to find a thread on this. However, I can't believe no one has put a thread on this type of topic yet (we have deadly frogs, cowwoborration, and stoopid criminals, but not this?). So, I thought it would be fun to have a topic that lists some of the funny objections at trial that have no basis in law. I just came across this one and it made me laugh (though with this set-up it probably won't be that funny to everyone else):

"I'm going to object, Your Honor, to obvious trickery."

[This message was edited by David Newell on 11-05-07 at .]

"I object. It's after 5 o'clock."

Two months ago, defense attorney objected to expert testimony with the following. I have been debating whether to send it to Buchmeyer because I am afraid it will inflate D attorney's ego.
The issue was whether a small bat could inflict sbi or death.


"I object your honor, he is not an expert. Just because he reads the Bible doesn't make him Jesus."

When I was a defense attorney, had a DA actually respond to a hearsay objection with, "Your honor, this is vital to my case." The judge agreed and over ruled my objection.

I once had a defense attorney stand up and say, "Objection, that's damaging." Apparently, it was, and the defendant got 50 years.

"Objection - surprise."

Assistant District Attorney's objection to the defense calling a witness the State did not know about.

Objection was sustained at the trial level, upheld on direct appeal, and then flipped at the CCA. (This story was passed down from my predecessors.)

Had a defense attorney once object that I was "leading the witness," which I was. The problem was that I was conducting a CROSS-EXAMINATION! The look on the judge's face was priceless!

I've had the "Objection, leading!" when cross-examining a defendant, and also that the "prosecutor is attacking the witness's credibility." Which, of course, I was, to both!

From Marcus Taylor, former Wood County DA-

Defense Counsel: Objection, your Honor!

Court: What is your objection?

Defense Counsel: Tain't fair!

There was a JP judge in Denton once who didn't know much about anything (I hear the gasps...). Legend has it that there were a couple of bored prosecutors in her court who objected successfully to the parol evidence rule.

A fairly legendary judge in our county is said to have cut off a Code of Criminal Procedure-based objection by a prosecutor by saying, "Don't bring that lawyer bag of tricks into my courtroom, boy."

Objection from parent's attorney at CPS hearing (when I asked where the parent was working):

"Objection, your honor. She knows the answer to that question."

I looked a little surprised but a LOT more surprised when the judge sustained it.

Guess I slept through that day in Professor Sutton's evidence class.

Demi Moore: Your honor, we strenuously object.

One time I actually argued:

"We object to the admission of the testimony. It's pernicious and it serves no purpose other than to infect the entire proceedings."

Hey, it sounded good.

[No, I wasn't trying to innoculate the jury.]

I have used the "taint fair" objection before. Country judges like it.

A defense lawyer (and former county attorney)objected to some damaging testimony revealed by a police officer on cross-examination and moved for a mistrial because the state had not revealed this unfavorable evidence to the defense. (The non-lawyer county court judge almost granted the motion until we convinced him that our duty related to favorable and not unfavorable evidence.)

A defense attorney repeatedly interrupted my closing argument, objecting that "this is nothing but a plea for law enforcement!" Around the third time, I agreed as I looked at the jury and told them that law enforcement was part of seeing that justice is done in their community. The defendant ended up with 80 years for drugs.

I can't even remember what the trial was, but remember a judge's ruling on defense's objection to my witness' answer. The ruling left the Amarillo defense attorney speechless - something very unnatural and never seen before from this attorney.

I had asked a question that was answered right away by the witness. Defense objects to hearsay. The witness did answer in a way that probably did inject some hearsay.

The judge's ruling, "overruled, asked and answered".

"He's (the prosecutor) reading from something that hasn't been introduced into evidence." This was an actual objection by an experienced defense lawyer with years of prosecutorial experience as well. At a pretrial-type hearing, she had called a not-so-friendly officer on direct and I was crossing him with details in his offense report. We were in a small courtroom and she noticed that I was using the officer's offense report. I was in front of an unfamiliar judge and we both just looked at each other for a minute when she came out with that objection. I guess next time that I try a case with this defense lawyer I'll have my detailed theory of the case all nicely typed out and use it rather obviously during trial. When she makes that objection again, I'll just introduce it...

My father told a story about how then Harris County Sheriff's Detective Marvin Zindler was testifying on cross as to some case and before every answer, Marvin would pull folded papers from his inside jacket pocket and glance at them semi-furtively and then answered the question. This went on for a few questions until finally the defense attorney objected before the jury and demanded to know what document(s) Zindler was consulting before he answered every question.

The story goes that Zindler pulled out the document, which of course was the lengthy CCH of the defendant, and answered something to the effect that it was the "lengthy criminal history of your client" as he unfolded the document from his pocket and let the attached pages fall to the floor.

So Marvin was a showman before he became the decades long and very highly paid entertainer of millions of Houstonians as the consumer affairs reporter of Channel 13 ABC in Houston.