I would like to propose to our legislative reps in the association:

What about mandating a surcharge on professional baseball players currently on the active rosters. They could be levied amounts in proportion to their stats, such as on base percentage, hits, HRs, e.r.a., etc. The better the player, the more he pays.

Then, take that money and re-institute the prison rodeo. Wait a minute, think about it: you could go watch some edge-of-your-seat action, and instead of paying $3.75 for two fingers of Coca Cola and $7 for a Vienna sausage, you could pay about 75 cents for a whole bottle of Coke, and about a buck for a hot dog. AND -- check it out, you could still even watch some pro-athletes in action at the same time! You could catch some Cowboys, Packers, maybe a Washington R-skin or two.

And, if the players refused to pay the surcharge, or balked (so to speak) at it, the stadium security guards could seize their strength-enhancer drugs, nose candy, Porsches and Viagra.

I think we've all been thrown a curve -- low and just a little bit inside....