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quote: We don't allow no accordian talk around here either. We just barely allow talking about banjos.  Was Ken Starr the fellow who sang the great anti-vietnam war Top-40 AM radio hit "WAR"? back in '70 or '71? No wait, that was Edwin Starr. Here's a link to a fine performance with the famed Jools Holland Big Band in merry olde England a few years back: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv5BYEOQYLo What a great performer. On this clip, Edwin is performing it on the BBC's Jools show some 30 years after it's original release on WAR AND PEACE. The original version is here with a photo montage of his career: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmo3OP_VBb8&mode=related&search= Edwin was a true Starr...Unfortunately, he left us in 2003. According to Wiki, He was affectionately renowned to be "The nicest man in Showbiz, and lived as a star in England performing on the English Northern Soul Circuit. Like Ringo Starr. Another fine Starr and drummer who influenced many drummers with his fine beatkeeping. Here's Ringo singing his hit single "It don't come easy" off of that album at the Concert for Bangladesh with George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Jim Keltner, Leon Russell, Billy Preston et al: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJ86Y1f3ppQ How many fine citizens named Starr can you think of?  [This message was edited by GG on 08-11-07 at .] | |||
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Cognitive dissonance is more like this: A liberal, peace-loving, non violent, alfalfa sprout-eating, Birkenstock-wearing, whale-saving accordion player is on stage, offering some of his best digs when an audience member yells, �Get off the stage, you liberal, peace-loving, non violent, alfalfa sprout-eating, Birkenstock-wearing, whale-saving accordion player!� This angers the performer so that, even though he is known as a non-violent type, he picks up his glass of organic lemonade and throws it at the heckler. Cognitive dissonance is the process by which the performer attempts to � in his own mind � justify hurling the beverage, reasoning that it was necessary and prudent. What happened here was more in line with osteocephalic dissociation. (osteo = bone; cephalic = head; dissociate = to separate from) | |||
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quote: Wow! He must be an impressive legal scholar to be Dean of Pepperdine! That is a prestigious school, and you know they wouldn't let some loser be the dean of that school. He must be very well respected amongst his collegues. Speaking of Pepperdine, I visited there 20 years ago, as a prospective transfer student during my first year of law school in Texas. They housed me in the graduate housing, which were really condos, which overlooked PH1, the beautiful Malibu beach and the magnificent Pacific Ocean. Near the housing was a University rental stable for students to rent horses for beach riding to alleviate stress from legal studies. In the end, I couldn't afford the transfer, but boy they sure rolled out the red carpet for prospective students. I even got to hang out at the Los Truncos Bar nearby, where George Carlin held forth nightly in an informal manner at the end of the bar. | |||
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Poster's forward note to the following accordian humor: I played drums off and on for noted accordianist and now-retired Texas Ranger and current Sheriff Milton Wright's Band for well over a decade at various locales throughout the Czech Belt. I'm still in counseling and recovery about it, and A.P.'s friend at the home where A.P. lives is confident that one day I'll be able to be in the same room with an accordian and not break out in hives and a conniption fit. This guy plays a New Years Eve gig and afterward the club owner says "Great job, can you play again next year?" The accordionist replies, "Sure, can I leave my instrument here until then?" The difference between an onion and accordion? People cry when they chop up onions. What did people say when the ship loaded with accordions sank in the ocean? Well, it's a start. What's the difference between an accordion and a cat? Only the cost, they both make the same kinds of sounds when you squeeze them. The song most requested of accordionists? Can you play Far, Far Away. How do you make two accordionists play in time? Shoot one of them. What's the difference between an accordion and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before you jump up and down on a trampoline. What do a true music lover and an accordionist have in common? Absolutely nothing. If you drop an accordion, a set of bagpipes and a viola off a 20-story building, which one lands first and which way up do they land? Who cares? What is the definition of a gentleman? Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't. What is a bassoon good for? Kindling for an accordion fire. What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion? The Uzi stops after 20 rounds. What is an accordion good for? Learning how to fold a map. What do you call a group of topless female accordion players? Ladies in Pain. What do you call an accordion player with a pager? An optimist. What is the range of an accordion? Twenty yards if you've got a good arm! What is the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist? Terrorists have sympathisers. How do you get an accordionist to play in time? Get them to play by themselves. Why do some people automatically hate accordionists? It saves a lot of time. Why do Accordionists make good politicians? They are used to playing both ends off against the middle. What does a long court hearing and a bad accordionist have in common? There is always a huge sigh of relief when the case is closed. How can you spot a bad accordionist? The lead singer can tell he is playing wrong notes. How many accordions can you fit in a telephone box? 101 if you chop them fine enough. What is the difference between an accordionist walking down the road with his accordion, and a goldfish swimming down the gutter with a banjo on his back? The Goldfish has got a gig to go to. What is the definition of perfect pitch? Closing your eyes, turning your back and throwing an accordion into the dumpster bin without touching the sides. What do accordion players use as a contraceptive? - Their personalities. What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion? - A chainsaw can be tuned. What's the difference between a road-killed skunk and a road-killed accordian player? - The skid marks in front of the skunk. FAQ for the absolute beginner Posted by "Glenn" 1997 Q: Whenever I play my accordian, I experience severe chest pain. What am I doing wrong? A: This is a fairly serious problem among beginning accordianists. Luckily, the solution is simple: be sure that you're wearing a shirt. If you ARE already wearing a shirt, then you're probably suffering a heart attack. Be sure to check with a doctor as soon as you're finished practicing. Q: My accordian is a half step lower than the other instruments in my band. The other musicians keep complaining. What do I do? A: Undoubtedly, you've thrown your lot in with a group of unappreciative people with little or no talent. However, if you wish to humor them, walk several hundred yards away from the group. At the beginning of your solo, run rapidly toward them while playing your accordian. The doppler effect will make it seem that you're in tune with them. Q: My spouse has threatened to move out due to my practice schedule. I usually play from 3:00 to 5:30 AM. How can I save my marriage? A: You can't. You really should be practicing for longer than that. We would suggest starting earlier, perhaps about 1:00 AM. HOW TO PLAY THE PIANO ACCORDION 1. Get an accordion. The cheaper the better because they all sound the same. Do not tell anyone what you have done - it will only cause them to worry. They will find out soon enough. 2. Take the accordion out of the case and strap it on. It is better if the accordion rests on your chest instead of your back but, for the first few weeks, it doesn't really make that much difference. 3. For sounds to be produced, three things must happen: The bellows must be moving in or out. One or more of the keys or buttons must be pressed. All potential weapons within a one mile radius must be collected and secured. The third is the most important 4. The buttons on the left side are chord buttons. The "C" button has a dimple or nipple so you can find it without looking. (This is a safety feature. Before it was invented, thousands of accordionists suffered painful and sometimes disabeling injuries - much to the delight of the general public). Never use more than three buttons. "Professional" accordionists appear to be using lots of buttons but they are acutally just desperately trying to find the damned "C". "Professional" means they have learned to smile while they do it. 5. Play the black and white keys. The high notes are at the bottom and the low notes are at the top. (That arrangement isn't supposed to make any sense. Accept it.) Note: If you find the high notes at the top and the low notes at the bottom, you have either put the accordion on upside down or you have tried to repair it yourself. If the former, turn the accordion over. If the latter, pack your acordion up with thousands and thousands of dollars and mail it far away for a long, long time. 6. Continue playing until someone begs you to stop or threatens your life, whichever comes first. 7. Put the accordion back in its case. 8. Order an accordion tee-shirt and wear it to the Mall. [This message was edited by GG on 08-11-07 at .] [This message was edited by GG on 08-11-07 at .] [This message was edited by GG on 08-11-07 at .] [This message was edited by GG on 08-11-07 at .] | |||
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Don't forget Norbert Starr -- he worked the cash register at the New Caney Feed & Seed. Probably one of the all-time great spoons players, at least from that side of the San Jacinto River. He was no kin to Bart Starr, by the way or Twinkle Starr, the dancer from the Pink Pussycat in downtown Houston. And to draw from another important recent thread, now I know why that little tag about "tumble dry" is on the shirts - it's obviously talking about piano-style squeeze-box players. | |||
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quote: It is sad, or at least lamentable, that I am old enough to remember driving past the Pink Pussycat near Sears at Main and Richmond on many occasions of my youth. I frequented Brockstein's Music, just around the block from there. Since I wasn't old enough to go in, I wasn't familiar with the performers of the day there. I suspect you answered a few HPD calls there, back in the day, AP. | |||
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