I was just wondering what the job title is for that big fellow who is shown on the news holding the umbrella over Michael Jackson's head whenever Mikey exits his royal coach and walks into the courthouse....
I wonder if I could do that for Mr. Bradley as he arrives for work in the mornings or maybe Greg G. when he walks into one of his gigs -- of course I sort of understand why The Michael needs protection from a sudden rainstorm, being as his nostrils are nearly parallel to his lips; if there was an unforeseen downpour, and he was left uncovered, he would probably drown within seconds -- just as sure as my first name is A.

Now, A., if I did that for you, I would have to explain to a certain someone's parole officer why he was out of work.

Name-dropper.

I am simply flattered to be included in your list of prospective employers, and likewise, I would be happy to be your umbrella man at your next gig, or at your next testimonial appearance.

With all due respect to the late Mr. Cochran, one must ask, Greg: Will the banjo fit under the umbrella? Knowing what water does to a guitar begs the question of what it would do to a more sensitive (and dulcimer) instrument.

Now that the judge has ruled that the jury may hear testimony regarding other child victims, is it time to measure him for his own custom made, beaded jail suit?

Now we all know why Johnny Cochran is not representing you know who. Like him or not (or his clients), he was a most gifted advocate and a skilled courtroom orator.

I think that banjo's are pretty much damage proof. Like a glock pistol, you can soak them, freeze them, run over them with a car or truck, drop them from a 7 story building and probably even detonate some form of explosive on them without too much damage being done to their tonality, or lack thereof.

That brings up the one bright spot in his case for all the dueling banjo-ists out there: MJ has never, ever been seen in possession of, or even in close proximity to, a banjo. I can't recall a single J5 tune that features a banjo either.

Whew!

Are you saying that a Glock and a banjo have the same tonality (or lack thereof)? I would note that I think a Glock is easier to tune.

In college music theory classes I believe they taught that the terms "in tune" and "banjo" are mutually exclusive. However, I am so old that when I was in college the only glock that existed was the glockenspeil.

Johnny Cochran began with the LA County DA. He left for a while and returned as a top assistant. He prosecuted Lenny Bruce for obscenity.