Raised by Fairies - Busted for Sexual Healing
Wednesday, June 07, 2006

NEW YORK � Venus gold belt? Check.

Self-proclaimed "Amazing Goddess"? Check.

Calling Oprah for help because you got arrested for prostitution after posing in your skivvies with a likeness of a fairy on the Internet? Check, check and check.

Cops in Penacook, N.H., may have gotten their goddess, but she�s ready to call in the big guns (by guns, of course, we mean Oprah Winfrey).

Suzan Belanger, 38, was arrested on prostitution charges after police say she was getting busy in exchange for bucks at her downtown �healing� business, Amazing Alternatives, The Concord Monitor reports.

But Belanger says she � uh � got that feeling to practice sexual healing after God and fairies enlisted her services, and plans to take her fight to the courts � and to the queen bee of daytime TV.

"I did this as a healer, not a prostitute," she said. "I plan to take this sky high and show them how godly God can be."

Belanger says she�s been a healer since January, but just opened up her business in Penacook in March after God assured her it was legal.

She advertises her � um � assets by posing in lingerie on a Web site, trumpeting her talents as a certified Reiki healer, cosmologist, herbalist and sexual therapist.

Her site has no explicit mention of sex for sale, instead offering her services as a sorceress and �all around loving caring soul,� and her expertise in utilizing the "many alternative healing modalities under (her) gold Venus belt."

And there's more.

In addition to her healing, under-the-Venus-belt modalities, she has �fingers that will glide upon your flesh like playing heaven�s golden harp.�

Belanger also claims to have been raised by fairies and that her magical energy can be a �channel of heaven right here on earth.�

Police issued a press releasing documenting the arrest but have been unavailable for additional comment

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Police issued a press releasing documenting the arrest but have been unavailable for additional comment

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What could they possibly have to say?

I wonder if her theme song was by Marvin Gaye?

Or Isaac Hayes (better known to many of us as "Chef")?

What song are you referring to, Gretch? I was referring to Marvin's hit Sexual Healing. I'd be curious to know what chef came up with...

I have numerous South Park videos you can borrow - almost every episode has some Chef rendition of a smooth Barry White-sounding "I want to lay your body down" song. It has all kinds of "magical energy," I'm sure

I'm old, although I have watched numerous south park episodes, I was a ten year old drummer when Issac had the hit with the "Theme from Shaft", which pretty much established the disco beat that would become popular in the 80's.

I'd like to have some south park. Did I mention that I have a double live album "Issac Hayes live at the Sahara Tahoe" from way back when. I told you I was old...