Today's TDCAA Law Quiz says "tongue splitting" is a Class C Misdemeanor. I believe it's actually a Class A, according to H&S 146.018.

Our legislature never ceases to amaze me with some of their random initiatives. There was Al Edwards' attempt to ban "provocative" cheerleading routines. Or Betty Brown's fight to have Athens named the "Home of the Hamburger". This particular tongue splitting law went into effect in 2003. I guess that's roughly around the time Austin's Lizardman started getting some airtime on A&E or Bravo. I wonder if anyone in Travis County ever tried prosecuting this guy:

Essay question: Compare and contrast the foolishness of this law with those who badmouth the hardworking, earnest prosecutor trying to keep violent criminals off the street.

50 words ought to do it.

I'm now waiting on my first appeal with the following issue: the trial court erred by not allowing a lesser-included-offense instruction on tongue splitting in this aggravated assault case.

I don't 'get' this tongue-splitting thing. Why would anyone want to do this? Ok, yes, I know: because they think it is cool/hot/peachy/nifty/
hip/the bee's knees/"phat"/"bad"/"dope".....

Does this make me old?

I'm 28 and I don't get it either. Nor do I get why our legislators are wasting two seconds of their time addressing this while they're in session.

I'm just glad that law enforcement officers and prosecutors generally have the good sense not to dedicate their resources to every obscure intitiative the legislature dreams up.

So, you won't be prosecuting the new offense of failing to make a public restroom available for those with irritable bowel syndrome?

Is this offense a Class D misdemeanor? How many retail establishments are there which normally have three or more employees working and physically present on the premises which do not have a public restroom? How often will a person with the problem choose one of those establishments at the critical time? Seems to me (thankfully) it may be a while before the issue arises.

And they say the legislature is a busy place. Now I know why.

and i thought you were just kidding!

quote:

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BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF TEXAS:
SECTION1.iiThis Act may be cited as the Restroom Access Act.
SECTION2.iiSubchapter D, Chapter 341, Health and Safety Code, is amended by adding Section 341.069 to read as follows:
Sec.i341.069.iiACCESS TO RESTROOM FACILITIES. (a) In this section:
(1)"Customer" means an individual who is lawfully on the premises of a retail establishment.
(2)"Eligible medical condition" means Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, or any other permanent or temporary medical condition that requires immediate access to a toilet facility.
(3)"Physician" has the meaning assigned by Section 151.002, Occupations Code.
(4)"Retail establishment" means a place of business open to the general public for the sale of goods or services.
(b)A retail establishment that has a toilet facility for its employees shall allow a customer to use the toilet facility during normal business hours if:
(1)the retail establishment does not have a public restroom that is immediately accessible to the customer;
(2)the employee toilet facility is not located in an area where providing access would create an obvious health or safety risk to the customer or an obvious security risk to the retail establishment;
(3)the customer requesting use of the employee toilet facility provides the retail establishment with evidence of the customer's eligible medical condition including:
(A)a copy of a statement signed by a physician, a registered nurse, a physician's assistant, or a person acting under the delegation and supervision of a licensed physician in conformance with Subchapter A, Chapter 157, Occupations Code, that indicates the customer suffers from an eligible medical condition or uses an ostomy device; or
(B)an identification card that is issued by a nationally recognized health organization or a local health department and that indicates the customer suffers from an eligible medical condition or uses an ostomy device; and
(4)three or more employees of the retail establishment are working and physically present on the premises of the retail establishment at the time the customer requests to use the employee toilet facility.
(c)A customer who uses a toilet facility as authorized by this section shall leave the toilet facility in the same condition as it was before the customer used the toilet facility.
(d)In providing access to an employee toilet facility under this section, the retail establishment or employee does not owe the customer to whom access is provided a greater degree of care than is owed to a licensee on the premises.
(e)An employee of a retail establishment who refuses to provide a customer with access to an employee toilet facility as required by this section commits an offense. An offense under this section is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of not more than $100.
(f)A retail establishment is not required to make any physical changes to an employee toilet facility under this section.

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I was myself assuming that was a joke, though it sounded a little lame to me. Soooo...which legislator's spouse crapped himself/herself in a store after throwing a hissy with the employees instead of simply leaving and going somewhere more, um, accomodating? Admittedly I thankfully don't suffer from any of those conditions myself, but somehow, I would think that if you have time to pull out your medical documentation and discuss the situation with the manager, you probably also have time to go elsewhere. And if I'm wrong and it really is all that dire, why on earth would it matter how many employees they have, as long as they've got a john there somewhere?

Next session, they will amend it so that people taking Alli can use the potty, too.

Diet pill's icky side effects keep users honest

"wear dark pants or bring a change of clothes . . ."

If they had only let her use their bathroom!
And you all were mocking the legislature.


Florida woman blames shoplifting arrest on irritable bowel syndrome
CAPE CORAL, Fla. (AP) � A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome, authorities said.

Helen Gallo, 61, of Clearwater, was arrested Sunday after allegedly shoplifting from a Cape Coral grocery store, The Daily Breeze of Cape Coral reported. Gallo reportedly told authorities that she could not wait in line because she has irritable bowel syndrome.

Gallo was charged with petit larceny and released Sunday from the Lee County jail on $500 bond.

Gallo did not answer a telephone call placed to her home by The Associated Press. It was not known if she had an attorney.