It doesn't violate 42.09 (Cruely to Animals) since a sea gull isn't an animal as defined by that statute.

Non-solution: It isn't a crime to be a jerk.

Solution No. 1: Prosecute as an "offensive display" under PC 42.01 (Disorderly Conduct).

Solution No. 2: Decline to prosecute the guy who whups the guy who killed the sea gull.

Whole Foods halts sale of live lobsters

Grocer says move was prompted by humane treatment concerns

AMERICAN STATESMAN STAFF
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Whole Foods Market Inc. will stop selling live lobsters, effective Friday, out of concern for the humane treatment of the animals.

The company had been reviewing its practices since November, after several customers raised concerns about the often crowded tanks where lobsters are displayed for sale, saying the conditions were cruel.

Whole Foods had been testing an alternative in an Atlanta store, where the crustaceans were given more room in a dimly lit tank with the cooler water they prefer.

But Thursday, Whole Food executives decided even the better holding tanks weren't sufficient. The chain also will no longer sell live soft-shell crabs.

"At this time, we believe it is too difficult to maintain consistent conditions throughout the entire supply chain to ensure the health and well-being of lobsters outside their natural environment for such a long period of time. Many lobsters are held in storage facilities for for several months," said Margaret Wittenberg, vice president of quality standards for Whole Foods.

Animal rights groups applauded the move, saying live shellfish are routinely starved and kept in cruel conditions in grocery stores.

Whole Foods, which seeks to assure the humane treatment of animals headed for the dinner table, created the Animal Compassion Foundation to research and promote better treatment of animals used for food.

On a related note, Whole Foods would like to spread the word of a HUGE SALE on Lobster meat, lobster bisque, lobster claws, lobster quesadillas, lobster meat, lobster pot pie, lobster fingers......(channel Bubba from Forrest Gump here).

What about all those fish and shrimp that are sitting on the ice. Shouldn't they get little sweaters or something? Will Whole Foods stop selling fish caught with a nasty hook? And oysters, oh my goodness, can I no longer pop down a still squiggling oyster on the half-shell topped with horseradish sauce? Tell me it ain't true, John Brown.