From the article on an inmate claiming to be entitled to minimum wage under the FLSA for his work assigment while in prison:

"The court noted the reason why federal law doesn't specifically make an exception for prisoners "is probably that the idea was too outlandish to occur to anyone when the legislation was under consideration by Congress."

In my humble opinion, the Honorable courts should just buck up and say that more often about some of the, um, ultra-creative stuff we all get to see...

The court hereby finds you are stupid. Denied. Next. (sounds even better if you say it like that british lady on the game show "the weakest link")

That you are fined $2,000 for wrongfully mouth-breathing courthouse air. Bailiff, whack him on the ... well, you get the idea.

Unfortunately, elected Texas judges must be mindful of sowing the seeds for an opponent at their next election, where federal judges do not face that prospect. That would explain why the vast majority of these comically condescending opinions issue out of federal courts. Federal judges just don't "put up with no crap."

we are now all dumber from having heard his argument.