Or:

Paris singing.

What GritsforBreakfast is going to say about this poll.

45 days of Entertainment Tonight yammering about Paris in the pokey (say that five times fast and try not to laugh).

I weep for America.

quote:

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Originally posted by Scott Brumley:

I weep for America.

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Weep not for America, for justice has been done.

I "wonder" who the two "jail for 45 days is worse" votes are?

Dyslexic banjo afficianados, UNTIE!

Hey, was AP that guy playing the banjo in "Deliverance?"

He could have been! I'm not sure, but I know he was a child prodigy. We'll have to wait on word from that from the Master{tone} himself, if he's still speaking to me!

One of the 45 days votes was my mom.
The other one was the custodian from the home. He is a kind fellow who helps me with pot holder weaving and he likes to tell stories about the Big War. Sometimes he helps me hide from the nurses when they come to take me to that room with the wires and jumper cables. They say it's for my own good. I say it hurts. They say I wouldn't need the treatments if I had not started playing drums back in elementary school. I say it was only for a little while, just until I found out that the girls went for the stringed instruments. They say, too bad, the damage has been done, now put this under your arm pit and bite on this roll of cotton.
I say, ever since that boy got the part in the Burt Reynolds movie, faking his banjo playing, that I have these episodes, that it has nothing to do with being a juvenile drummer. They say, just the word "drummer" conjures negative connotations and cowobborationss. I say, What about Greg? He seems to have done alright? They say, hah hah hah, you must be kidding! He has to pack, load, carry, unload, assemble, disassemble, pack, load, carry, unload and reassemble a trailer load of equipment while Scott tears off pieces of his clothing for the groupies. "Drummer!" Hah! They say.

What is the difference between a drummer and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

But my favorite joke, repeated once again for your enjoyment, is about the banjo player who had a duo with an accordianist. As you might imagine, gigs did not pour in for them. One New Year's Eve, a club had a band cancel and was desperate for entertainment and they hired the accordian-banjo duo, who performed covers of various Led Zeppelin songs. They were a big hit. All the customers begged the owner to have them back the next year.

So as the duo was packing up their instruments at the end of the gig, the owner asked them if they were available to play next years New Year's gig.

"Sure but can we leave our instruments here?" was the response from the banjoist.

Saint Peter, wanting the new arrivals to feel at home, promised to spend some quality time with each one. He asked his first arrival of the day, "Hi! What's your IQ?"
"150," he said.

"Great," said Peter, as he showed the man in, "we should get together tomorrow and discuss the Theory of Relativity for a while." He asked the next person, "What's your IQ?"

"120," she said.

"Fine, fine," said Peter, "I'd love to take some time with you Wednesday to discuss current world politics." To the third person, he asked, "What's your IQ?"

"42," drawled the fellow.

"Fantastic!" cried Peter, "I've been looking for years for somebody who could help me perform a banjo duet!"

Robert,

Wait! Is that a true story?

Robert, that may be the best banjo joke ever!

quote:

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Originally posted by A.P. Merillat:
One of the 45 days votes was my mom.
The other one was the custodian from the home. He is a kind fellow who helps me with pot holder weaving and he likes to tell stories about the Big War.

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Is there any way I can get some potholders to match my new kitchen paint, which is sort of a medium blue on the walls with white cabinets. Some sort of duck or chicken pattern in the middle of the potholder would really please the Missus...Just curious...

[This message was edited by GG on 06-12-07 at .]

Robert, I started to believe your story, but then I realized that I've never met a banjo player with a genius level IQ of 42 or better. As far as Greg's story about the banjo & accordian player -- what's wrong with leaving the instruments at the place until next year? Greg, did you forget the punch line or something? Or, is that part of the script for one of next season's Sopranos episodes?

I've already started your potholder, by the way, and I embroidered a real nice stick figure of Racheal Ray in the center. I believe it will go real nicely with your new kitchen colors.

Do not enter. (Legal term for you-know-what)

Who needs SSRI's when you have AP et al?

Greg:

I got the joke from here:

Banjo Jokes

Who would ever thought there would be an internet banjo joke site?

RSD

Really folks, Paris would be lucky to have as good of a friend as AP. She'd be texting "LOL-ROFLMAO" to her friends all the time if AP were her guidance counselor and her own personal banjo soundtrack.

Just think, one day on TMZ we might see ole' AP riding in the back of her Benz, with the top down, creating a rolling soundtrack for her. And he could be her own personal bodyguard.

To quote Rachel Ray's mentor...BAM!

quote:

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Originally posted by Robert S. DuBoise:
Greg:

I got the joke from here:

http://bluegrassbanjo.org/banjokes.html

Who would ever thought there would be an internet banjo joke site?

RSD

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RDuB, I'm glad you google for banjo jokes as I have but I, being the true banjoist annoyer that I am, well I posted that link way back in January of 2005.

Since you were a member way back then, you probably either subconsciously refused to read it at the time or supressed it after reading it as a post-traumatic stress disorder reaction (spelled "dysorder" if you spell women as "womyn in a new age style).

PTSD often results from the "Banjo Aversion Syndrome" (or "BS" as it is known in the biz)that afflicts those of us (over 99% of the population worldwide) who are not "into the banjo", according to psychological researchers at Lawn Morris College in deep East Texas. Honorary Doctorial recipients Les Paul, Leo Fender and Tommy Tedesco identified "BS" way back in the 1950's, following the debut of "the electric guitar" as widely popularized by Scott B's mentor and namesake, Buddy Holly.


Unfortunately, not everyone here (not mentioning any names, JB) find banjos or the men who love them funny, to-wit:

https://tdcaa.infopop.net/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=347098965&f=157098965&m=465108113&r=636108113#636108113

wherein it is stated by JB that Banjo Jokes are officially not funny, way back in 2005.

So Robert, welcome to the support group for FRIENDS OF BANJOISTS (FOB). JB won't come to our meetings but he is suffering from Banjo Aversion Syndrome as well. He'll have to hit rock bottom before he comes out of denial.

In closing, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I post for your enjoyment some favorites:

Q: Why are banjo jokes so simple?
A: So that bass players can understand them. (you may not be aware that AP is the main bassist as well as banjoist for the TDCAA band)

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
A1: A chain saw has dynamic range.
A2: You can turn a chain saw off.

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy and the other is a bird.

Q: What is the difference between an onion and a banjo?
A: No one cries when you cut up a banjo.

GG, I have forgotten the name of the TDCAA band. What is it called? Or do we need to have a naming contest?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by GG:
Just think, one day on TMZ we might see ole' AP riding in the back of her Benz, with the top down....


I'll have you know, I wouldn't ride around with my top down. I have scruples, you know. Maybe a fishnet T-shirt or a sleeveless apron, but not top-down.