I notice that Brewster County DA Frank Brown is going to trial on a case alleging an illegal goat castration. Presumably, he will be offering the jewels as State's Exhibit No. 1.

I recall trying a case in which the victim's missing ear (bitten off during a fight) was offered into evidence. By the way, that ended in a not guilty.

What is the oddest exhibit you have offered into evidence?

A few years ago the police confiscated over 1000 videos from an adult distributor, claiming they were obscene. The defendant filed a motion to have all non-obscene tapes returned. After the first day of hearing, we had watched 4 tapes ... only 996 left to go!!!

Someone came up with the idea of using fast forward and giving the device to the defense attorney who could "slow" it down when he saw some redeeming social value coming up.

And if we could watch l dirty movie on fast forward, why not 2 at the same time. That eventually became 4 movies showing in open court on fast forward at the same time. Believe me that is a sight.

A couple came in for our regular docket call with a young child, were offensed and immediately left. A newspaper reporter posted an Editorial the next day upset that we had no warning signs posted. So we posted signs indicating that dirty movies were being played in court and to not come in if they would be offended.

As you might expect, the courtroom was packed with every juror and clerk around. The next Editorial condemned us for publicizing the very thing the law condemned. Some days you just can't win!

The defense gave up after several days. But in my career, the most unique exhibit I've seen is 4 dirty movies all playing at once on fast forward.

Years ago, our county prosecuted a murder case with the deadly weapon being the penis bone of a whale. The victim was beaten to death with it. I believe the case was occurred in the late seventies and I have only the defense attorney's, F.R. Buck Files, word for it.

Isn't the funniest thing about the illegal goat castration case that the goat in question is the MAYOR of the small town? Isn't it Clay Henry III, the third generation goat/mayor? And his special qualification to be mayor is that he drinks beer. I hear Clay Henry III's competition in last the mayoral election were a wooden Indian and a dog named Clyde.

I tried a murder case and offered Bert Graham, now 1st Asst. District Attorney in Harris County, as an exhibit since I needed someone his size for demonstrative purposes. He had several red "stickers" affixed to his body showing the location of the bullet holes. He was later replaced with a photograph instead of being sent to the jury room with the rest of the evidence and Judge Miron Love admonished me never to do that again!

Well of course in the 80's we had the dildo prosecutions in Dallas County. I had one on appeal that had 30 different "devices" in evidence. I filed a motion to transfer all of the original exhibits to the Court of Appeals, and at oral argument the panel wouldn't even look up -- you can bet that Malcolm Dade lost his defense argument that these were only party favors!

Other than Burt Graham's appearance as an exhibit, I am seeing a strong pattern here on what makes an exhibit odd.

Several years ago in a DWI prosecution, a defendant's girlfried testified that his eyes were "red all the time." On my motion the court required the non-testifying defendant to "exhibit" his eyes to the jury. They were clear and the result was a quick guilty verdict. Rest assured I snuck a peek at his eyes before my request. I wanted to make sure the glove fit don't you see!