The Article

"MEXICO CITY--The Mexican underworld's taste for bizarre nicknames was on full display in February, when Mexico City police filed kidnap and murder charges against a gang whose aliases sounded like something out of Snow White.

There was "El Salivotas" (the Drooler), "El Guero" (Blondie), "El Enano" (the Dwarf), "El Duende" (the Elf), "El Cejas," (Eyebrows) and "El Tamalon" (the Big Tamale)...."

Anyone come across any good local nicknames?

[This message was edited by Shannon Edmonds on 07-19-04 at .]

Big Nard. I have no idea why, but that was his nickname.

Let's see--I've represented "Popcorn" and "Cowleg".

'Lil GQ is on death row at the moment. The Texas Battleship (a wrestling moniker) is doing 35 for agg sex asslt of a child. A defendant named Williams liked his nickname so much that he had it tattooed on his forearms: "Damn" on one and "Fool" on the other. How about lawyer nicknames....the "Texas Hammer" leaps to mind along with various Tigers and Hurricanes.

Defendant known as "Worm" (drug dealer character in the movie, Friday) goes on trial for shooting a neighbor over a dispute involving who gets to take home the crack whore.

One of our burglars is known as E.T. because he's 'out of this world, crazy.'

My partner and I in misdemeanor court most always stuck to a recommendation schedule put out by our boss. One local lawyer nicknamed us the "cactus". When we caught him in the elevator, we reminded him that two cactuses should be referred to as "cacti". I still get a laugh thinking of the look on his face.

I had a defendant who went by "Big Sexy." She and her sister were identity thieves. When questioned by police, the defendant gave a fake name. Police asked her sister and sister said, "Her name is whatever she says it is, but she go by 'Big Sexy.'"

She wasn't, by the way. She weighed over 300 lbs, and had hair that was a very unnatural shade of goldish-orange.

I also dealt with a case involving a very large prostitute in Houston known as "Big Sneaky."

A well-known DWI defense attorney from Houston now says that he is known as "The Cowboy Lawyer."

I had a suspect in an assault case who was known as "Skip" because he had a removable prosthetic leg that didn't fit right.

I guess it beat "Hopalong" ...

I prosecuted a defendant in southwest Texas whose nickname was "Clavo" for cocaine delivery. We're not sure exactly why he was called what in Spanish means "nail," but we're fairly confident it had something to do with his sexual orientation -- flaming homosexual. His younger brother, a witness in another trial of mine (small town), was known as "Clavito." He appeared to have followed the example of Clavo in his lifestyle choice.

So what's the translation of Clavito?

When I prosecuted in Houston, I knew a prosecutor who, when filling out the offense summary sheet that goes to TDCJ and the Parole Board, would always give the defendant a nickname that fit his crime or made his life in prison a little more interesting. My favorite was the nickname "Sweet Cheeks."

"Clavo" does mean "nail," but it is also slang for a place where you stash contraband . . . you figure it out!!

You don't have to be a member of the "criminal underworld" to have a nickname here in the Valley, but it helps. Here are a few that spring to mind:

Bones is our latest Death Row resident (he gunned down four barmaids, none of whom happened to be the snitch he was really after).

La Llanta (The Tire) was so named because he is exceedingly dark-complected (PC is not a consideration in the nicknaming process).

La Pompa (The Pump) pumped a lot of drugs over the border before he disappeared in the wake of a fatal business disagreement.

El Centeno (The Sentinal) never sleeps--probably because he's always looking over his shoulder. Fashion extra: this guy wore a long leather coat way before Keanu Reeves made it cool--the better to conceal the cuerno de chivo (AK-47) that is his trademark.

La Lechera (The Milkman) always delivered--first drugs, then codefendants.

El Diablo was convicted of murdering a guy and burning his body, mostly just for fun.

Just worked on a murder appeal in which the cast of characters included Spider, Dough Boy, Blue, Coco, Jester, Cool Water, Toche, Cloud and Rage (this last one so named because of his penchant for beating up his mother). I had to make a list of nicknames, real names, and gang affiliations to keep them all straight. It does help me decipher the local news to determine which gang is currently one up . . .

One of my favorites from my days as an appellate prosecutor was Eddie Wayne "Striblet" Grider, so named by trial prosecutor Lance Larison (Gregg Co.).

"Striblet" earned his moniker by telling trial judge Alvin G. Khoury that "Y'all ain't got a striblet of evidence to convict me."

Striblet now enjoys a lifetime supply of food and lodging, courtesy of your friendly, neighborhood Department of Criminal Justice - Institutional Division. See Grider v. State, 69 S.W.3d 683 (Tex. App.---Texarkana 2002, no pet.).

"Cheese Baby"

"Coldcut" aka Akmed Abdul Shakir

"Pig" aka "The Professor"

Tried a dope cook a few years ago who called himself "Poopy". Worked out pretty well because the dope was in a cooler with Poopy written on the outside of it.

Had a "Spider Mike" who was a defendant in a Engaging/Theft case a couple of years ago.

Also came across a "Tattoo Steve" one time who was rumored to be a murder victim. Turns out Tattoo Steve was very much alive and, according to his Momma, cooling his heels in the Eastham Unit of the T.D.C.J..

Guess everyone here has at one time prosecuted "Chester the Molester." We did.

I prosecuted a perp for sexual assault of a child whose real name was Robert "Bob" Oral Cox. He is doing 20 years.

Our local pharmacist has created a "sidewalk of stars," [albeit a'la Delta Co] each star being dedicated to a local citizens whose nickname was that of an animal. We are eagerly awaiting a second section of the sidewalk to be installed. So far we have nicknames of Wolf, Bear, Donkey, Hoss, Goat, Snake, Turtle. These are no names of legal clients or small town criminals.....well some of the might have been criminals, who knows?