From a county jail inmate request form:

"I need a point attorney lawyer."

OK, I hate to resurrect this old thread myself, but this one was too good to pass up. We came across a jail phone call in which a defendant calls a relative and says the following:

Def: "I need y'all to sign a petition for me."

Relative (yelling to background people): "Hey -- Ray needs us all to sign a BEAUTICIAN! "

I could see defendant's CORRODED artery beating.

A "personal reconnaissance bond"... maybe so the defendant can do some of his own investigation?