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In a possession of marijuana case, I recently had an officer testify that he was "riding two man" with his partner on patrol one evening. It took quite an effort to keep a straight face.
 
Posts: 6 | Location: Conroe, Texas, USA | Registered: May 09, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I haven't heard this one in court, but I know of a teacher who likes to teach by presenting students with "highly pathetical" examples.
 
Posts: 6 | Location: Conroe, Texas, USA | Registered: May 09, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Joel -- Back in the dark ages, last Century, when I rode patrol w/ HPD, we were listed on the roll call sheets as "one-man" or "two-man" units. Even cars with females of the opposite sex were called that. Yes, a horrible, sexist term, I admit, but we peons didn't come up with the term, we just put in our 8 or 10, then went on to the extra jobs. We never knew we were perpetuating an
idiom that would one day make it to the world-famous user forum of TDCAA.
 
Posts: 751 | Location: Huntsville, Tx | Registered: January 31, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Jane, I think you should be awarded a coveted TDCAA cap for starting a topic that has now made it to 3 pages. Maybe Scott could name his band in honor of this subject.
 
Posts: 751 | Location: Huntsville, Tx | Registered: January 31, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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A.P., I now understand the term two-man. However, I think the best example that I ever saw of cop-speak in a report was, "I observed that the vehicle was occupied by a B/M two times." I frequently use that example when speaking to police groups on why we as prosecutors want officers to speak in plain English. It's a hard habit to break, I'm sure.
 
Posts: 374 | Location: Houston, TX | Registered: July 25, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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That's clear, Dan. But right now I'm out at
4594 with a rolling G.
 
Posts: 751 | Location: Huntsville, Tx | Registered: January 31, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I have a report where it reads, "I observed a long black man's wallet lying on the nightstand." For the record, the owner of the wallet is not African-American. Oh, the perils of leaving out a well-placed comma!
 
Posts: 514 | Location: austin, tx, usa | Registered: July 02, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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My favorite PC affidavit included the following:

"A car pulled up. J.H. ... pointed to Officer M. and told [the others] that he was 5-0, which is street terms for cops, coming from the series Hawaii 5-0, which was a police series, where the police could do impossible things. ..."
 
Posts: 2395 | Location: TDCAA | Registered: March 08, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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For more amazing office stories, go to

The Office Story Web Site.
 
Posts: 7860 | Location: Georgetown, Texas | Registered: January 25, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Digging in an old file to answer a writ recently revealed this one.
A defendant wrote a letter to the court asking for immediate medical treatment. He learned that his co-defendant/lover had recently been diagnosed with cancer. His request states "Niether of us used any protection, so please as soon as possible get me to the nearest facilities that treat cancer patients that I may receive test and necessary treatment."
 
Posts: 118 | Location: Chambers County Texas | Registered: March 03, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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had a drug officer here who, for p.c., in the course of a pat-down, "noticed a bulge in the subject's pants... an object was felt in the area of the bulge." Heynow!
 
Posts: 159 | Location: At the beach, Texas | Registered: June 12, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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A routine check for outstanding warrants was done threw the Polk County dispatch.
 
Posts: 20 | Location: Austin, Texas (Travis County) | Registered: February 25, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Sounds like it will be subject to a motion to squash!
 
Posts: 1029 | Location: Fort Worth, TX | Registered: June 25, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Is three pages a record for a post?
 
Posts: 956 | Location: Cherokee County, Rusk, Tx | Registered: July 11, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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This thread seems as appropriate as any for this post. Did anyone see the cover of the May 5, 2003 issue of Texas Lawyer. One of the lead articles reported on a recent Court of Criminal Appeals case in which the court held that police did not need a search warrant to look between the buttocks of a defendant. The headline reads, and I am not making this up,:"CCA Upholds Butt Search For Crack."
 
Posts: 126 | Location: Bryan, Texas | Registered: October 31, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Yes. I did. Just one more reason to thank the folks who were the blue (or whatever color the uniform is) for doing a thorough job. And be thankful I don't have to.

(This was an difficult post to make without degenerating into all kinds of adolescent, scatological humor.)
 
Posts: 956 | Location: Cherokee County, Rusk, Tx | Registered: July 11, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I tried to start a thread on the "Butt Search for Crack." It was called "Body Cavity Pocketbook", after Judge Cochran's phrase in the concurring opinion of that case. I was inviting lots of adolescent, scatological humor, but the topic was a resounding failure. Unlike this never-ending thread.
 
Posts: 514 | Location: austin, tx, usa | Registered: July 02, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The subject had a default on the tail lights of his trailer.
 
Posts: 20 | Location: Austin, Texas (Travis County) | Registered: February 25, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Kiele, in Livingston, a default on your trailer usually meant that your house got reposessed.
Wink
 
Posts: 35 | Location: Williamson County, Texas | Registered: April 16, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Unless of course your landlord snuck in while you were at the VFW and took a nap in the master bedroom. Oh yea, that was a different subject. Sorry about the adolescent scatalogy...ology...ogeny.
 
Posts: 751 | Location: Huntsville, Tx | Registered: January 31, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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