The classic John Doolittle number:
"Move over little dawg, 'cause the BIG DAWG is movin' in."
That's why you're the king of rock and roll.
The religious cult I am currently dealing with has taken to preaching that I am the equivalent of Cain.
You should start carrying a stone from the field in to the court room with you. Just to see if they understand their own reference.
Now, now Philip...bringing rocks infringes on the "trial superstitions" thread.
In a pleading, a pro se defendant once referred to me a the "spawn of Satan". Needless to say when I told my dad about that he was not happy.
It was not what I was called as much as a curse. After convicting her 20 year old son of molesting the daughter of the kind family that took him in when his own dear Mom had kicked him out for being violent scum, an angry and very large mother ran out of the courtroom to scream at me, "Jesus will get you for what you did to my boy".
Being much younger and brasher back then, I promptly replied, "Mam, he is going to get me for a hell of a lot of other things first."
She fell to the floor, stuck by the spirit or my wit or whatever. Then good sense overtook me and I retreated down the back stairs.
Similar experience I had forgotten until Clay's post. Many years ago in Misdemeanor, defendant convicted of resisting arrest, which was a big deal because he had a major lawsuit pending against the deputies and the county because half his scalp got peeled off of his head during the fracas.
While on break after the guilty verdict and before punishment, the defendant approached his attorney and I in the hallway and told me "You're gonna get yours for this". When we explored that topic during punishment with the defendant on the stand, he clarified and said he meant that God was gonna get me. Jury still gave him probation but the Judge gave him 30 days as a cop for the statement.
The defendant's wife, who was also divorcing him, and his kids got some money from the county because they got pepper sprayed in the melee, but he got nothing. Interestingly, when he terminated his probation two years later, he looked me up at the courthouse and apologized for the remark.
This week a defense atty. named Monty Montgomery wrote in a motion that I was "an unbridled horse with the bit in his mouth." He repeated this strange phrase in court to the judge.
If you've ever seen a horse get his bridle off, and then pick up the bit with his mouth, then I reckon you have an idea how I appear to Monty.
In reality, I'm about as mild mannered as a horse grazing in the grass.
So, there's this co-worker of mine who was trying a felon with multiple pending cases. The first trial ended in an NG. My co-worker was a bit upset.
The felon came up to my co-worker, gave him a bit of a hug and said good luck next time.
That sounds like and assault to me.
One of our prosecutors ,during trial, heard the defendant mutter something under his breath in Spanish. He immediately informed the court that he too spoke Spanish and the defendant had called him a "p***y".
The defendant instantly declared, "B*****T! I called him a c**k-sucking, mother-f*****g p***y!"
This happened in court and the defendant was addressing the court coordinator. He was supposed to appear for a DWI in misdemeanor court and was talking to the court coordinator. Evidently, he became upset and made some statement to the coordinator.
Later he is in court and the judge is dressing him down for disrepecting the court staff. Judge says, I understand you called my coordinator a "lying B***H." At which point the coordinator piped in "Judge, he didn't call me a lying B***H. He called me a lying F*****G B***H." Needless to say things didn't go well for him.
I've got one particularly fun pro se defendant who I've apparently irritated more and more as the case proceeds. In his last filing, he called me a Nazi. In the newest one, he said I go "where even the Nazi statute-drafters didn't go with this one!" So now I'm even worse than the Nazis.
I have a pro se plaintiff in a civil case who stated (in a certificate of service) that I and the other attorneys must be April babies because we are first class fools.
Terry Breen's run-in with Monty is no surprise. Anyone needing the scoop on this guy - just let me know.
Terry - tried to email you - no luck.
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