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The classic John Doolittle number:
"Move over little dawg, 'cause the BIG DAWG is movin' in."
 
Posts: 751 | Location: Huntsville, Tx | Registered: January 31, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by A.P. Merillat:
The classic John Doolittle number:
"Move over little dawg, 'cause the BIG DAWG is movin' in."


That's why you're the king of rock and roll.
 
Posts: 2577 | Location: The Great State of Texas | Registered: December 26, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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The religious cult I am currently dealing with has taken to preaching that I am the equivalent of Cain.
 
Posts: 29 | Location: Baird, TX USA | Registered: April 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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You should start carrying a stone from the field in to the court room with you. Just to see if they understand their own reference.
 
Posts: 764 | Location: Dallas, Texas | Registered: November 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Now, now Philip...bringing rocks infringes on the "trial superstitions" thread.

trial superstitions
 
Posts: 1089 | Location: UNT Dallas | Registered: June 29, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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In a pleading, a pro se defendant once referred to me a the "spawn of Satan". Needless to say when I told my dad about that he was not happy. Wink
 
Posts: 19 | Location: Gainesville, Texas | Registered: June 09, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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It was not what I was called as much as a curse. After convicting her 20 year old son of molesting the daughter of the kind family that took him in when his own dear Mom had kicked him out for being violent scum, an angry and very large mother ran out of the courtroom to scream at me, "Jesus will get you for what you did to my boy".

Being much younger and brasher back then, I promptly replied, "Mam, he is going to get me for a hell of a lot of other things first."

She fell to the floor, stuck by the spirit or my wit or whatever. Then good sense overtook me and I retreated down the back stairs.
 
Posts: 293 | Location: Austin, TX, US | Registered: September 12, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Similar experience I had forgotten until Clay's post. Many years ago in Misdemeanor, defendant convicted of resisting arrest, which was a big deal because he had a major lawsuit pending against the deputies and the county because half his scalp got peeled off of his head during the fracas.

While on break after the guilty verdict and before punishment, the defendant approached his attorney and I in the hallway and told me "You're gonna get yours for this". When we explored that topic during punishment with the defendant on the stand, he clarified and said he meant that God was gonna get me. Jury still gave him probation but the Judge gave him 30 days as a cop for the statement.

The defendant's wife, who was also divorcing him, and his kids got some money from the county because they got pepper sprayed in the melee, but he got nothing. Interestingly, when he terminated his probation two years later, he looked me up at the courthouse and apologized for the remark.
 
Posts: 2577 | Location: The Great State of Texas | Registered: December 26, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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This week a defense atty. named Monty Montgomery wrote in a motion that I was "an unbridled horse with the bit in his mouth." He repeated this strange phrase in court to the judge.

If you've ever seen a horse get his bridle off, and then pick up the bit with his mouth, then I reckon you have an idea how I appear to Monty.

In reality, I'm about as mild mannered as a horse grazing in the grass.
 
Posts: 685 | Location: Beeville, Texas, U.S.A. | Registered: March 22, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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So, there's this co-worker of mine who was trying a felon with multiple pending cases. The first trial ended in an NG. My co-worker was a bit upset.
The felon came up to my co-worker, gave him a bit of a hug and said good luck next time.
 
Posts: 286 | Registered: February 13, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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That sounds like and assault to me. Wink
 
Posts: 2128 | Location: McKinney, Texas, USA | Registered: February 15, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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One of our prosecutors ,during trial, heard the defendant mutter something under his breath in Spanish. He immediately informed the court that he too spoke Spanish and the defendant had called him a "p***y".

The defendant instantly declared, "B*****T! I called him a c**k-sucking, mother-f*****g p***y!"
 
Posts: 61 | Location: Lubbock, Texas | Registered: February 27, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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This happened in court and the defendant was addressing the court coordinator. He was supposed to appear for a DWI in misdemeanor court and was talking to the court coordinator. Evidently, he became upset and made some statement to the coordinator.

Later he is in court and the judge is dressing him down for disrepecting the court staff. Judge says, I understand you called my coordinator a "lying B***H." At which point the coordinator piped in "Judge, he didn't call me a lying B***H. He called me a lying F*****G B***H." Needless to say things didn't go well for him.
 
Posts: 956 | Location: Cherokee County, Rusk, Tx | Registered: July 11, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I've got one particularly fun pro se defendant who I've apparently irritated more and more as the case proceeds. In his last filing, he called me a Nazi. In the newest one, he said I go "where even the Nazi statute-drafters didn't go with this one!" So now I'm even worse than the Nazis. Smile
 
Posts: 1114 | Location: Waxahachie | Registered: December 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I have a pro se plaintiff in a civil case who stated (in a certificate of service) that I and the other attorneys must be April babies because we are first class fools.
 
Posts: 36 | Location: Corpus Christi, TX 78401 | Registered: January 26, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Terry Breen's run-in with Monty is no surprise. Anyone needing the scoop on this guy - just let me know.

Terry - tried to email you - no luck.
 
Posts: 48 | Location: Seguin, TX, USA | Registered: June 15, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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