I guess he didn't have enough Fiber in his diet!

John, where in the world do you find this stuff?

I can't reveal my sources, as it would compromise my security clearance.

I picture that case going something like this:

Prosecutor: And as you approached the driver and began talking to him, did you notice anything unusual?

Cop: As he talked to me, I smelled a strong odor on his breath?

Prosecutor: You smelled a strong odor--would that have been the odor or alcohol?

Cop: Nope--believe it was Underoos.

Defense Counsel: Objection--calls for expert opinion testimony and the State has not qualified this witness as an expert on underwear odor.

he was so upset with himself for driving impaired that he was trying to give himself a wedgie

Does he look 18 to you guys ?

Maybe eating your underwear has a "meth effect".

Would that be methane, as opposed to methamphetamine?

Memo
FROM: RCMP
TO: David Zurfluh

A) Fruit of the Loom is not real fruit.

B) Eating your underwear makes you look 45 or older.

1. Would you be willing to give a seminar to our Mounties on how you were able to blow
a perfect 08, simply by chewing on the crotch of your drawers?

a. What do you do for hangovers --
and does it involve putting dirty things
in your mouth or other orifices?

NOTE TO SELF:

Next time I am arrested for DWI, it is probably not a good idea to eat the crotch out of my underwear. For Sanitary reasons, it would probably be best to attempt to eat a t-shirt or sock or other item of clothing in lieu of the nastiest part of my underwear.

Hopefully this will not be a trend. This thread ranks right up there in being bizarro with the death/murder by enema thread from last year. I no longer postulate that there can be nothing more weird every time one of these cases comes up with bizarro facts, as I am consistently proven wrong.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stacey L. Brownlee:
Does he look 18 to you guys ?

Maybe eating your underwear has a "meth effect".

---

18 is his mental/"emo" age. His chrono age is 45.

Several years ago we had a defendant who ate his own excrement to beat the breath test. He pled.

Suprisingly everyone in the office at that time recalls the video.

glad you posted that after lunch . . .

Yes, Larry it was true that he did 'nibble' at his excrement, ON VIDEO, to try to overcome the breath test. That was the funniest video EVER!! But if you want a real laugh, next time I'm in Seguin, ask me what happened when Max supervised him on probation!