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LONGMONT, Colo. -- The Mountain View Fire Protection District has fired firefighter and department spokesman Jesse Hodgson, according to the Longmont Times-Call.

...

The newspaper said Hodgson is accused of sexually assaulting an intoxicated woman related to him after a Memorial Day party while he wore an adult-size diaper as part of a sexual fetish and twice punished an elementary school-age child by diapering her.

We have a diaper fetish defendant awaiting trial now.

Shoplifting a chainsaw? Stick it in your pants.
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Probably no more dangerous than a live ferret.

Having raised, bred, and hunted with ferrets and polecats and having used chainsaws, I would take a ferret over a chainsaw in the pants anytime. One small nip (albeit you may have to pry apart their jaws) hurts much less and does less damage than multiple sharp teeth of a chainsaw. I have been the victim of the "bites" from both more than once. (A slow learner perhaps). But, never mind the blade, I'm amazed that a chainsaw's motor would fit in anyone's pants.

Isn't that the fad -- wearing pants to big? Maybe that is the reason they wear their pants that way.

This one tops the list for strange driving habits!

a new twist on shaving while driving

Janette A

What kills me is that she had a passenger -- so why didn't they just switch and have him drive instead of just lean over and take the wheel??

Did you notice that the passenger was her ex-husband?

Also, she was grooming her 'area' for a meeting with her current boyfriend.

Imagine how that conversation went:

"Beula, have you groomed?"

"That's not your business, I'm going to meet Hank."

"Baby, that's one of the reasons we split up. I couldn't take it."

"Alright, well, hold the wheel..."

Excuse me, wouldn't that be dangerous?

WTF???

SANTA ANA (CBS) — A Fullerton man has been found guilty of ejaculating into his female co-workers water bottle.

Michael Lallana, 32, was found guilty Thursday afternoon of assault and battery. Jurors also found true the allegation that he did it for sexual gratification.

Lallana admitted in a taped interview submitted to jurors that he ejaculated into an “attractive” co-worker’s water bottle because “her lips had touched it,” but told detectives he never thought she would drink it.

Lallana and the woman — identified only as Tiffany G. — began working together at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network in Newport Beach. They were both later transferred last year to the company’s office in Orange.

“It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone,” Lallana said in the interview with Orange Police Department detectives in explaining why he ejaculated into the woman’s water bottle twice last year.

When the detectives quizzed him on why he didn’t just throw the water bottle away when he was done, Lallana said he figured she would dump the water and was afraid of leaving anything out of place on her desk.

“Can I honestly say I wanted her to drink it? No,” Lallana said in the taped interview. “Why I left it there, I don’t know.”

Tiffany testified that she left her water bottle on her desk in the Newport Beach office on a Friday in January of last year. She said that when she returned the following Monday and drank from the bottle, she tasted what she believed to be semen.

“I had a hunch that’s what it was, but I wouldn’t dream in a million years that’s what it was,” she said.

After being transferred to the company’s office in Orange, the woman said she again tasted semen in her water last April 6. Up to that point, she had been more careful with her water, dumping it when she left, she said.

Tiffany testified she threw the water bottle away that January. But after the second time in April, she kept the fouled liquid and asked her fiancee put his semen in a water bottle to see if that’s what she had tasted at work.

“At the time, I had no idea how else to figure out what this was,” she testified.

Convinced it was semen in the water bottle she had at work, the witness said she approached Orange police but was told they could not do anything based on the suspicion of a crime.

She then went to human resources officials at her workplace. “They heard me out, but they didn’t know what to do,” she testified. The woman said she was told the company’s legal representatives would be consulted but decided on her own to seek out an independent laboratory to test the water.

When she found a lab and got the results back, she had a friend, whose husband is a former Orange police officer, call the department’s investigators and they picked up the case in June, she testified.

Tiffany and Lallana did not have much to do with each other than small talk or an occasional greeting because he did much of his work outside the office, according to testimony.

When pressed by detectives, Lallana said he found his co-worker attractive and that part of the allure was that “her lips had touched” the water bottle, according to the tape played for jurors.

Lallana also gave investigators a DNA sample, and Deputy District Attorney Brock Zimmon told jurors the evidence showed it was Lallana’s semen in the water bottle.
http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2011/02/24/man-found-guilty-in-semen-assault-case/

My favorite part:

quote:

---

Tiffany testified she threw the water bottle away that January. But after the second time in April, she kept the fouled liquid and asked her fiancee put his semen in a water bottle to see if that�s what she had tasted at work.

�At the time, I had no idea how else to figure out what this was,� she testified.

---

yuck

Anyone remember The Hollywood Knights? "It does have a bit of a wang to it..."

***

Fire marshals said the fire began around 6:40 p.m. on Feb. 20, when a Brooklyn woman visited a fourth-floor apartment in the Flatbush building, where she paid one of the male occupants $300 to perform a voodoo ceremony aimed at bringing her good luck.

A city official says the man was known in the neighborhood as a priest and the two were having sex when the fire started.

The official spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation was ongoing. He said he did not know whether the sex was part of the ceremony.
***
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Cynthia "Cindy" Economou, a former St. Lucie County Fire District firefighter-paramedic, had admitted to taking Karl Lambert's foot after the Sept. 19, 2008, crash but says she took it to train her body recovery dog, according to tcpalm.com.


http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Medic-Sued-For-Swiping-Foot-From-Crash-Victim-117577194.html?dr

Robed, bewigged judge rugby-tackles prisoner

LONDON (Reuters) - A judge sporting full robes and a wig rugby-tackled a sex offender to the floor to prevent him from fleeing the court where he was on trial, the Press Association reported on Tuesday.

Judge Douglas Marks Moore, 60, wrestled with 34-year-old Paul Reid as he tried to escape from Woolwich Crown Court in London.

"The jury were just leaving when the defendant jumped up and ran across the clerk's bench to get to the judge's door," said prosecutor Rupert Gregory.

As he went through the door, his honor Judge Marks Moore grabbed him round the throat to try to bring him down.

They make you fast and impede the opponent from grabbing the wearer's body!

He apparently minded his q's but forgot the p's
Bottles of urine filled during weekend stay in bank vault lead to conviction for robber

COPENHAGEN, Denmark � Two bank robbers forgot to cover their tracks and left three bottles of urine behind after hiding inside a bank vault in Copenhagen for three days.

A 27-year-old Swede and his accomplice used the bottles to relieve themselves after sneaking into the vault on a Friday in May and remaining there until the bank opened again the following Monday.
MSNBC link

How's this as a good argument for guns as effective home protection?

Intruder calls 911, afraid home owner may have a gun

83 year old woman confessed to taking over her husbands cocaine business and dealing out of her home....

http://www.kltv.com/global/story.asp?s=14225547