I voted other in that I did not see where a crime was committed. If one was committed I recommend being prepared for a necessity defense.

I guess that depends... If he stole it because he wanted it, clearly insane. If he stole it solely to keep it from being played by others (again, the insane), then he was doing a public service, wasn't he?


...Man, I stayed away from the banjo jokes for a looong time, but I finally caved.

You know, a plea to probation with a condition that he watch 30 episodes of Hee Haw doesn't sound much like punishment for someone like that; in fact, it sounds almost like sending someone to prison only to have them learn how to be a better criminal!

For a theft to have taken place, doesn't the defendant have to take a thing "of value"? Not guilty.

How did that case get indicted? A banjo qualifies as "contraband" under state law, i.e., it has no lawful use that I am aware of.

And how could you get past reasonable doubt on such a case with the necessity defense? Surely every potential juror would know that "imminent harm" could result the instant the banjo is touched, if anyone were to attempt to create a tone.

In the gulf coast area of Texas, where I was raised, banjos were not called banjos. They were referred to as "trotline weights".

And yes, the insanity defense would seem to encompass this act. You would have to be plum crazy to steal a banjo, as JB said, an item with no value.

quote:

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Originally posted by AndreaW:
I guess that depends... If he stole it because he wanted it, clearly insane. If he stole it solely to keep it from being played by others (again, the insane), then he was doing a public service, wasn't he?


...Man, I stayed away from the banjo jokes for a looong time, but I finally caved.

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It may be your first banjo joke posting but it is clearly the funniest that has graced this forum!

We had a guy break into someone's house and eat some biscuits. The jury found him not guilty. If food has no value, there is no way a banjo does.

I recommend you take precautions in the courtroom in the event you must take this case to trial. One inadvertant strum of those five strings could not only alienate the jury to your case but could also aurally injure yourself, the witnesses, the jury or the court personnel.

I recommend removing the strings or at least having the baliff secure them with flex ties, to insure no defense attorney strums those strings and sends the courtroom folks to the ER.

There could be some county liability if that happens for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Reluctantly, I must dissent from my learned and eloquent colleagues. The victim here is much like the Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade." He was clearly harboring a powerful and dangerous instrument to protect society from its terrifying potential when coupled with a guitar and guys in overalls. Then your defendant cavalierly breaks in and exposes the universe (or, at least, the folks down at the local auto parts store) to five strings' worth of musical mayhem. Book 'em, Danno. Bluegrass One.

Perhaps we can help Mr. Hess out with some potential voir dire questions for his panel.

Here's one:

How many of you own albums or cd's that are devoted to banjo music?

Come on, don't all of you raise your hands at once.

Surely one of your number own some sort of musical album or cd with even ONE NOTE played by a banjo?

(venire member responds with a banjo joke about perfect pitch)

More voir dire questions:

How many of you still have an eight-track tape player?

How many of you are married to your sister?

How many of you have ever owned any recording made by Boxcar Willie?

Do any of you have two or more cars up on blocks in front of your residence?

More fingers than teeth = good juror.

How many old freezers and refrigerators do you have in your front yard?

quote:

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Originally posted by Ken Sparks:
How many old freezers and refrigerators do you have in your front yard?

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You made me laugh so hard I spewed coffee over my calender when I read that.

Mr. Brumley, respectfully sir, and you know I respect you and all that you stand for, are full of bull hockey in your defense of the banjo. The first sign of a problem regarding banjos is denial.

quote:

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Originally posted by Michael Hess:
More fingers than teeth = good juror.

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I was curious exactly where Vernon was, having sent many folks there for treatment over the years. So I wiki'd it and then went to the Texas Handbook, and I learned something.

Your county is named for a famous Texas hero who was a neighbor and friend of one of my ancestors, James Gilleland, back in the 1820's and 1830's here in Bastrop County. Josiah Wilbarger, the namesake of your county, was scalped by indians yet lived for some time thereafter, a rarity. Josiah's brother John wrote the great tome called "Indian Depredations In Texas" in the late 1800's, detailing via word of mouth history much of the indian battles that occurred in early Texas.

But to me, the most interesting tidbit about your locale was the following, from the Texas Handbook Online, published by the TSHA:

Application was made for a post office to be called Eagle Flat, but the postal department complained that too many Texas towns already had the word eagle as part of their name. The second-choice name of Vernon was accepted, and a post office was granted to the community in 1880. Though sources disagree, Vernon was probably named either for George Washington's Mount Vernon or for a traveling whiskey salesman named Vernon Brown.

That sort of history warms my heart.

how many of you have felt you have been treated unfairly for receiving numerous citations from animal control? for all your kitties and dogs that you have rescued and are having a hard time feeding and keeping demanged?

Quoting the inimitable Mr. Gilleland:

quote:

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Mr. Brumley, respectfully sir, and you know I respect you and all that you stand for, are full of bull hockey in your defense of the banjo. The first sign of a problem regarding banjos is denial.

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I do not defend the banjo, sir. I fear it.

As for voir dire:

"By show of hands, how many among you have ever demanded that a fellow human being 'squeal like a sow'?"

"You, sir. Were you a member of the FFA? No? Your honor, I move to strike juror Shagnasty on the grounds that ... well, it's just the right thing to do."

"Moving on, by show of hands, have any of you brought a mason jar or jug of moonshine with you today?"

"You have, ma'am? Thank you for your candor, and I'm sure it's quite tasty, but I'm afraid I don't need a drink right now and, quite frankly, neither do you. Or the judge. What's that, your honor? Speak for myself? My apologies."

By a show of hands, how many of you have ever appeared in a segment of the TV show COPS?

How many of you have ever been involved in a physical altercation with a relative during a church service? Yes ma'am? That's how you got on COPS? Well, thank you for sharing that, ma'am.

Please raise you hand if your middle name is Wayne.

By a show of hands, how many of you have cable TV? Thank you, and please keep your hand up if the cable company knows you have cable.

How many of you can name, by first and last names, every employee of your local Dairy Queen. Thank you, and please keep your hand up if three or more of those people are related to you.

Please raise your hand if your current spouse proposed to you on the tailgate of a pick up.

Of those, please keep your hand up if a hound of some sort witnessed the proposal.

...and keep your hand up if one of your parents overheard the proposal from the cab of the truck.

Please answer the following question:
Rocky Top is �
(A) a place in TN
(B) a Dairy Queen treat with nuts on top
(C) a banjo tune
(D) all of the above