Here's a lighthearted topic starter: With a nod to Hollywood, what are some of the greatest public misperceptions about us or our jobs as prosecutors? I'll start with a few.

- We have cushy offices with wet bars behind our desks.

- We attend swanky cocktail parties where we conspire with captains of industry.

- We are always BFFs with the police!

- Our juries are filled with some of the best dressed people in town.

What else?

- Our crime scene techs drive Hummers

- We hand out motions (always with blue paper on the back) to each other and then have "hearings" with the court as we're walking down the hall or on the sidewalk

- We get to confront the defendant in a meeting room with his attorney and he then confesses...

We make enough money to have really great wardrobes. (I can't be the only one who wears suits out before getting a new one.)

...that we are all political hacks concerned only with re-election or that of our boss

...that David Newell spends all day watching "Indie movies"

-We have DNA evidence in every case.

-Every child sex assault victim makes immediate outcry and brings the case straight to us.

-All we care about is our conviction rates.

-We are in cahoots with the court-appointed defense counsel. They work for us, don't they?

We have unlimited resources to investigate cases. Bwahaha!

The case is over when the verdict is read.

All we have to do is snap our fingers and dozens of investigators bring us all the evidence we need. Same thing for legal research.

That a defendant who has steadfastly denied guilt will break down on the witness stand, under the steely eyed glare of the prosecutor.

That life in prison means life in prison.

- that the gallery is always full of spectators and one of them will confess or has a piece of evidence that will seal the case

- that there is a master computer that has everyone's fingerprints, picture, every car they drive, who their relatives and cohorts are, where they live, where they work.....

That when you are unhappy with the court's ruling you can go upstairs, literally, to the appeals court and come back down to the trial court that same afternoon, opinion from the court of appeals in hand.

Maybe thats how it really works in New York?

Once they get convicted and sent to prison, criminals always speak the truth; especially if they're on death row.

That the investigation can be summarized in 30 minutes and the trial can be done in time for the 10 o'clock news . . .

That the same prosecutor will handle the case throughout the entire process, from grand jury presentation, through trial, and even on appeal.

That anyone can be held without bail just because a prosecutor asks. My wife is always railing at me when the news talks about anyone who gets bail.

That the appellate process only takes a few weeks (if that long).

That when judges rule on suppression hearings, they give detailed findings of fact and conclusions of law from the bench, explaining exactly why they ruled.

That judges have statutes, cases, and specific facts to support why they ruled.