... and start banging on an apartment gate.

http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/crime/police-naked-woman-arrested-for-dwi

... with a license plate that reads "SAUCED."

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/knowshon-moreno-charged-dui-while-license-plate-reads-193939702.html

...shoot bottle rockets from their butt at a frat party (is that redundant with "drunk?").

Re-enact the crane move from Karate Kid while attempting the one leg stand test. Quite well, I might add. She was almost three times the limit.

Cops: DUI suspect gave officer Miller Lite when asked for license

A drunken man who was stopped by police handed the officer a Miller Lite when asked for his license, police said.

Rest of the story

.....take a leak on the video after stumbling through the Intoxylizer room tests, blow a 0.15, and then come in off the pro se docket to tell the prosecutor he wasn't drunk, but he wanted to plead guilty "to get it over with". When I confronted the young man about the video, he turned reddish purple in embarrassment. When I asked him if he would like to view the video, he declined. When I told him he might as well see it because all of the secretaries had seen it (some more than once), he almost passed out. When he admitted he was drunk, and apologized for trying to BS me, we struck a deal. On his way out, all of the female personnel were gathered at the front. They smiled and waved. I think he was purple at that point. But he didn't cry....... This was over 20 years ago. I hear they still use the video for training.

Smoke alcohol

Kids these days are apparently not content to just sit around swigging from a flask the way their parents did when they were young. From “butt chugging” to “eyeballing vodka,” add a new alcohol consumption trend to the list: smoking alcohol.

Details.

I had a known crack cocaine dealer call 911 saying he was being harassed by another dealer. Long story short, he was upset I was not going to just go out an arrest his enemy, as I explained to him PC is not developed by the verbal statement of a crack dealer. Being ensured I was to deal with this situation again, I offered to hide in back yard of crack dealer's residence so I could catch the other dealer in the act of harassment and have an on view offense. About an hour later (while I was in the back yard via his consent, the dealer sits on the front porch and drinks beer until he forgets who he asked to hang around), the dealer steps out his back door and walks to his BBQ pit where he removed about 4 grams of crack cocaine. He was about 20 feet from me. I say hello, he runs, he jumps off porch and lands on stomach with toes on one foot pointed at sky. He requires surgery to fix ankle, jury (due to his prior convictions) hands him 90 years plus 10 k fine.

Call 911 for help to get out of car...

Details.

Run her boyfriend over because of a "Big Mac Attack".

details

Tries to use a TACO as his ID...

http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com...man_tries_to_use.php

Visit an elephant...

Details.