'Bomb' was bean paste

When police at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport asked Jake Lee, 41, what was in his bag, he replied, "It's my bomb," according to an arrest affidavit.

A scan found the bag contained a solid mass, and security officials tested the outside of the bag for nitrates. The tests came back positive, but eventually Lee told police it was bean paste, officials said. Lee said he didn't know why he told authorities he had a bomb.

Lee was arrested and charged with making a false alarm or report, a crime punishable by up to two years in jail. He was released from the Travis County Jail on $2,000 bail.
Story.

Going to airports make me nervous for this very reason. It's all I can do not to make some smart-ass commment with the word "bomb" in it.

Whaddya think the odds are that, at his next court appearance, our ersatz Travel Channel correspondent will call a female prosecutor "dude"?

That would be awesome.

Car thief caught trapped in target vehicle

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A bungling Australian car thief was nabbed after accidentally locking himself in the vehicle he was trying to steal, police said Wednesday.

Here's the rest of the story.

I don't care how cool people think cocaine is, I don't think even users would want to put this guy's coke up their nose. Talk about some stinky feet!

Cocaine leg cast

We just had a guy today plea for pen time for tampering with evidence by way of putting dope in his mouth and swallowing to conceal it from officers. He wanted to hug momma before being carted away, but the jailers did not permit it. He had not even made it into his cell from processing when the jailers saw him pop something in his mouth. Turns out he brought hydrocodone into the jail and does the same thing when he was caught! As Napolean Dynamite would say, "Idiot!"

'Dumbest criminal' nabbed in cop convention holdup

HARRISBURG, Pa. � A retired police chief said he was robbed by "probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania," at a police officers' convention on Friday morning. John Comparetto said as he came out of a stall in the men's room, a man pointed a gun in his face and demanded money. There were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio at the gathering.

* * * * *

The suspect was arraigned and taken to Dauphin County Prison. When a reporter asked the suspect for comment as he was led out of court, he said, "I'm smooth."

Here's the full story.

A couple who went on national television to brag about making $100,000 shoplifting and selling their loot on eBay is under investigation by federal agents.

Matthew and Laura Eaton of San Marcos appeared on the "Dr. Phil" show last fall to share their story, aided by a video of their three small children accompanying them on a three-day shoplifting binge.

Last week the Secret Service and other members of the multi-agency San Diego Regional Fraud Task Force searched their home and seized toys, a car and other belongings.

Details.

"Denton police arrested a man Monday after someone at a convenience store called and complained about a suspicious person.

The officers responded to the store and found the man, who was talking excitedly, bouncing up and down and wandering around. They asked the man what kind of drug he had taken.

The man told them he used to use several types of drugs and smoke �weed� but that he had �come to Jesus� and didn�t anymore.

They kept talking to the man, who finally said he had been smoking marijuana that day, according to the report. He asked the officers to take him home so that he could smoke more and calm down."

More here, oh yes, there's [a little] more....

Thieves Steal Fake Cell Phones In Mexico
Real Cell Phones, Cash Overlooked
Posted: 6:16 pm EDT July 7, 2009
Updated: 8:25 am EDT July 8, 2009

MORELIA, Mexico -- Call it the case of the dead cells -- both telephones and the ones in the brain.

Employees at a Telefonica Movistar cell-phone store in Morelia, Mexico said they arrived Tuesday morning to find that the store had been broken into.

An examination of the shop revealed the only items missing were hollow replica phones for display that are completely useless for making calls.

Web site

A Philadelphia teenager who authorities say used a stolen cell phone to snap a photo of himself that automatically got sent to the victim has turned himself in.

Details.

My favorite one was a guy arrested for assault / family violence. he's wearing a low necked white A-frame tshirt (the ubiquitous "wifebeater"). The neckline is low enough to show off his fancy script tattoo running across his chest stating "Fuck The World."

It did not particularly work for him in the unrelated CPS case that hauled him back into our courtroom a month later, either.

It was nearly as good as the DWI defendant who, on video tape, looks at the officer and asked:

"Where you from? Kleberg County? Well fuck you and fuck everyone else in Kleberg County."

The Kleberg County jury didn't like that one too much...

Talking about bad tattoos - did an appeal for another county where the defendant had his eyelids tattooed -- one said lying the other said eyes.

"Fifty G's if you let me out right here," Escalante said to an officer.

"You mean $50,000 if I let you out of this squad car right now?" The cop said.

"Yeah," Escalante said.

"You realize that you are trying to bribe a police officer and if you continue to do so you will be charged with bribing a public servant," the officer said.

"Fifty G's dog if you let me out right here," Escalante said.

Then it gets even better; click here to read on ...

One from my hometown courthouse that made the papers a couple of months ago.

Forgotten bag of pot at Taylor Co. Courthouse results in arrest

"Forgetting what was in his pockets, an Abilene man was just following normal procedure when he emptied the contents into a small blue bowl to be scanned at the Taylor County Courthouse."

"Dennis Charles Crisp Jr., 19, and the deputy at the courthouse�s metal detector noticed at the same time as a small baggy of marijuana dropped in the bowl."

http://www.reporternews.com/news/2009/oct/02/forgotten-bag-of-pot-results-in-arrest/

Authorities said a man accused of stealing a car then reporting it stolen remains in custody after telling police he was robbed at gunpoint while trying to buy crack cocaine with a credit card. The Flint Journal said the man reported Thursday night that a 2003 Chevy Malibu had been stolen.


Details

A Lexington man was charged with trafficking marijuana Tuesday after reporting that someone had stolen his drugs, according to court documents.



Details

Sheriff's officials say 22-year-old Joshua Vasquez was arrested Friday after he allegedly tried to deface a glass door leading into a City of Commerce meeting room where over 100 Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies and police officers were attending a training class.

Details