"...you can sho' get lost in a Looosiana bayooo."

quote:

---

Originally posted by A.P. Merillat:
...now everyone blamed his old man for making him mean as a snake -- when Amos Moses was a boy, his daddy would use him for alligator bait.
Tie a rope around his neck, throw him in the swamp: Alligator bait in a Louisiana bayou.

....he could trap the biggest, the meanest alligator and just use one hand. That's all he's got left, 'cause the alligator bit him -- left arm gone, clean up to the elbow.

Pure poetry, from the compassionate, romantic pen of Jerry Reed.

---

One of the finest examples of Southern storytelling, and one of my favorite songs since 1971. I knew there wuz a reason we wuz friends, AP!

Bless you, Greg -- I knew our friendship wasn't based on those shallow matters that Dr. Phil tries to pawn off on unsuspecting rich folks. Nothing like a song about being partially eaten by an alligator to bond two distinguished gentlemen.

That's right, A.P. A deep and mutual understanding of the culture of southern life.

I have in my lifetime, as a matter of fact, known a gentleman whose arm, clean up past the elbow, was bitten off by a gator as he was hunting same in the swamp. Illegally, I suspect.

His name wasn't Amos, though.

2/19/2006 3:53:00 AM
Egg-Toss Prank Turns Deadly in Ohio

By ANDREW WELSH-HUGGINS Associated Press Writer

It was the sort of commonplace misbehavior that raises blood pressure across the nation's roads: kids, out after midnight, egging cars along a busy thoroughfare.

This time, though, the mischief turned deadly. The driver of a targeted gray Jeep barreled after the boys and someone inside pulled a gun, firing multiple shots that killed 14-year-old Danny Crawford.

Police are still seeking the gunman more than two weeks after Crawford's death. They have interviewed the Jeep's owner but aren't saying if that person is a suspect.

Boy dies after being shot with a pellet gun

The boy was playing with a friend when he was hit in the head with a pellet

By Miguel Liscano

AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF



Friday, December 29, 2006

A 12-year-old boy died Thursday after he was shot in the head with a pellet gun in Creedmoor, a Travis County sheriff's official said.

Officials said the boy and a 13-year-old friend were playing with the gun at about 4 p.m. in a park near the 12700 block of RM 1625, near the intersection with FM 1327, when he was shot.

The boy was flown to Brackenridge Hospital, where he was pronounced dead, Capt. Art Cardenas said.

The pellet might have entered the boy's head through his eye, but officials will not know for sure until an autopsy is performed, Cardenas said. He said he does not anticipate charges being filed in the incident.

Both boys probably were playing with air rifles because two guns were found.

"They found a Red Ryder-style BB gun there, and the weapon that actually caused the injury was confiscated," Cardenas said.

Cardenas did not release the boys names.

Is it wrong that, while I am truly very sorry for their tragic loss, I couldn't help but snicker a little at the manner and means? All together now....

Killing of boy an accident, officers say
Daniel Castro, 12, was shot by pellet gun while hunting.
Click-2-Listen
By Patrick George
AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Saturday, December 30, 2006

The death of a Creedmoor boy who was shot Thursday evening with a pellet gun appears to have been an accident, Travis County sheriff's officials said.

Daniel Castro, 12, was hunting birds in a Creedmoor field with a 13-year-old friend when he was shot with the friend's pellet gun. Castro was airlifted to Brackenridge Hospital and was pronounced dead about 5:30 p.m. Thursday.

An autopsy revealed that Castro had been shot through the back of the head, said Capt. Art Cardenas of the sheriff's department.

Woman found dead with plastic bag around head
05:37 AM CST on Wednesday, January 3, 2007

By HOLLY YAN / The Dallas Morning News

Police are investigating the death of a woman who was found dead with a plastic bag around her head Tuesday night.

The woman, believed to be in her 60s, was found about 7:30 p.m. in a house in the 9900 block of Capridge Drive, near Audelia Road and Walnut Hill Lane.

Dallas police Sgt. Gene Reyes said the woman's death would be considered unexplained until the medical examiner's office rules on the cause.

"There was nothing obvious to indicate a homicide," he said.

Police found no obvious signs of forced entry. The woman's name was not released pending notification of relatives.

Drug arrests include man accused of wielding onion

by Jordan Schrader
Asheville Citizen-Times
published January 11, 2007

Asheville � In addition to a charge of possessing cocaine, a city resident faces a misdemeanor assault charge after another man reported being hit on the head with a large onion.

Asheville police on Wednesday arrested Christopher Antwain Brewster, 18, of Wilbar Avenue. He was being held in lieu of a $1,000 bond.

A North Ann Street resident took out a warrant on Brewster saying that he had assaulted him with an onion.

the onion does have a razor sharp wit.

From a recent 5th Circuit opinion, in which the defendant (who got stabbed a bunch) was suing the prison officials. My question to A.P: again, I thought defense attorneys said no one commits new crimes in prison?

After midnight on May 27, 2000, Appellee Adam Longoria, a prisoner at the Texas Department of Criminal Justice's ("TDCJ") Telford Unit, was stabbed twenty-eight times by fellow inmates David Peralez and George White.*fn1 Due to their suspected membership in the Texas Syndicate ("TS") prison gang, Longoria, Peralez, and White were housed near one another in a lockdown unit (or "pod") because of recent hostilities that had broken out between the TS and a rival gang.

After inspecting the toilet and shower area for weapons, Officers Farr and Staggs strip-searched inmates Peralez and White and took them to the third-tier shower area. Shortly thereafter, Officer Rogers removed Longoria from his cell in order to escort him to a routine lockdown interview. Longoria claims he told Rogers that Peralez and White were in the showers and wanted to kill him. Rogers allegedly assured Longoria that if anything happened he would be protected. Officer Rogers then handcuffed him and removed him from the cell.

As Longoria and Officer Rogers walked along the corridor, Peralez and White emerged from the showers armed with shanks and began running toward them. Longoria fled. Although unarmed,*fn2 Rogers initially attempted to stand between Longoria and his attackers, but was pushed aside as they chased Longoria. Officers Farr and Staggs, who were inspecting Peralez's and White's cells for contraband, heard the commotion, were approached and threatened by White, and ran away to alert other guards and obtain weapons and tear gas.

Peralez and White chased Longoria through the now-sealed pod,*fn3 tackled him and began stabbing him in the chest and neck. Longoria finally broke free and fled to the first-floor common area where he collapsed and was met by arriving officers. He was seriously injured.

Longoria was likely targeted by the TS because he had become a jailhouse informant. On several occasions in the months preceding the attack, Longoria had provided gang-related information during meetings with investigators from the Security Threat Group ("STG") and the Internal Affairs Division ("IAD").

Man who put dog in washing machine headed to jail
03:40 PM CST on Tuesday, January 16, 2007

By DEBRA DENNIS / The Dallas Morning News
FORT WORTH - A Euless man who admitted placing a stray dog inside a washing machine was sentenced Tuesday to one year in jail.

Chad Edward Ellis, 32, pleaded guilty last year to one count of animal cruelty.

Grapevine police said Mr. Ellis placed the dog inside a washer last January and turned on the hot water cycle.

The dog, a black Labrador mix, was later euthanized.

Mr. Ellis also was placed on probation for five years for four counts of burglary and two counts of theft, said Dixie Bersano, an assistant Tarrant County district attorney.

Man calls 911 after mischief goes awry
By DOMINGO RAMIREZ JR.
STAR-TELEGRAM STAFF WRITER
GRAPEVINE - Vandalism wasn't supposed to be this painful.

A vandalism suspect who told police that he had been drinking "way too much" almost sliced off his finger Monday night when he tried to slash a tire on a van on Timberline Drive.

Police found the 23-year-old Grapevine man with his right pinkie cut through the bone.

He was taken to Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas late Monday to have his finger reattached, police said. He is expected to be arrested on suspicion of criminal mischief after he leaves the hospital.

The man called 911 shortly after 11 p.m. Monday from an apartment complex in the 2400 block of Timberline Drive.

Officers found the man in the parking lot, and he said he had been drinking and slashed the tires of someone he didn't know.

Investigators found about $150 damage to one tire. But the large folding knife the man was using closed on his finger when he tried to slash a second tire, police said.

"He said it was a stupid move," Grapevine police Sgt. Bob Murphy said.

Suspect Claimed she had Syringe Filled with AIDS Virus as Weapon

01/19/2007 --
Austin Police Department Robbery detectives are searching for 28-year-old Jamie Lee Corley who they say is responsible for a series of robberies of individuals at ATM?s in South Austin. Corley has been charged with robbery by threat, a second degree felony.

Detectives believe Corley targets female victims and approaches them at automated-teller machines. Corley allegedly threatens the victims with an object that could be a syringe or knife. She then demands cash and flees on foot or in an unknown vehicle. The six robberies have occurred between January 11th and 15th.

Corley is described as a white female, 5'4" tall, and 120 pounds. She has brown hair and brown eyes.

Theses cases remain under investigation by APD Robbery detectives. Individuals who know the whereabouts of Corley are asked to call 9-1-1. Individuals with information about the suspect or incidents are asked to call the Robbery Tip Line at 974-5092 or CrimeStoppers at 472-8477.

Parasites, cold weather blamed for dead birds
1/19/2007 9:49 AM
By: Associated Press
Three aviary pathologists at Texas A&M blame parasites and cold weather for the deaths last week of 63 birds in Austin.

The executive director of the Texas Veterinary Medical Diagnostic Laboratory says there were no toxins or public health concerns to be worried about.

The night the birds died, temperatures dropped from about 50 degrees to 40 degrees in six hours. The birds, which were mostly grackles, had parasites in their muscles, tissues and brains.

None had food in their crops or gizzards, indicating they hadn't eaten in the previous 24 to 36 hours.

Jan. 21, 2007, 1:10AM
Man falls 16 stories and lives
Only leg may be broken in landing on hotel awning

By TOM FORD
Minneapolis Star Tribune

MINNEAPOLIS, MINN. A 29-year-old man who apparently was horsing around with some friends crashed through a window and fell 16 stories at the downtown Minneapolis Hyatt Regency early Saturday morning.

His most severe injury? Police say he may have only a broken leg.

The man must have "an angel on his shoulder or something," said Minneapolis police Lt. Dale Barsness.

The man, identified in a police report as Joshua S. Hanson, landed on a roof overhang, police said.

He was taken to Hennepin County Medical Center in Minneapolis. His condition is unknown. He could not be reached for comment as of early Saturday afternoon.

According to the police report, Hanson and two other friends had been drinking at bars before the fall.

When rescue crews arrived, firefighters had to first extricate Hanson from the awning and metal grating while paramedics worked to stabilize him, said Assistant Fire Chief Ulie Seal. Hanson was conscious and communicating as he was taken off the overhang, according to the police report.

The window was double-paned and had a safety bar in front of it, said Tom Mason, general manager of the Hyatt.

Not-quite-dead duck rescued from refrigerator
10:10 PM CST on Saturday, January 20, 2007

Associated Press
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. � Neither gunfire nor two days in a refrigerator could slay this duck.

When the wife of the hunter who shot it opened the refrigerator, the duck lifted its head, giving her a scare.

The man's wife "was going to check on the refrigerator because it hadn't been working right, and when she opened the door, it looked up at her," said Laina Whipple, a receptionist at Killearn Animal Hospital. "She freaked out and told the daughter to take it to the hospital right then and there."

The 1-pound female ring-neck ended up at Goose Creek Wildlife Sanctuary, where it has been treated since Tuesday for wounds to its wing and leg.

Sanctuary veterinarian David Hale said it has about a 75 percent chance of survival, but probably won't ever be well enough to be released back into the wild.

He said the duck, which has a low metabolism, could have survived in a big enough refrigerator, especially if the door was opened and closed several times. And he said he understands how the hunter thought the duck was dead.

"This duck is very passive," Dr. Hale said. "It's not like trying to pick up a Muscovy at Lake Ella, where you put your life in your hands."

SKYDIVER CHARGED WITH MURDER AFTER LOVE RIVAL FELL 13,000FT TO HER DEATH
A married woman who was having an affair with a fellow skydiver plunged 13,000ft (4,000m) to her death after her love rival and best friend tampered with her parachute, police say.

Els Van Doren, 37, fell to earth in a garden in front of a group of onlookers. Els Clottemans, 22, has been charged with her murder.
Minutes earlier the pair had joined hands in a star formation with two other skydivers including Ms Clottemans�s boyfriend, a Dutchman named only as Marcel, who police say was having an affair with Mrs Van Doren.

While he and Ms Clottemans broke away at 4,000ft when their parachutes inflated, Mrs Van Doren, a mother of two, was unable to open either her main parachute or the reserve and crashed to her death in the town of Opglabbeek, Belgium.

Her final moments were filmed by her own head-mounted camera.

Police say that video footage taken by Mrs Van Doren as she tried to open her parachute provided evidence that led them to suspect that a fellow club member had sabotaged the equipment. A spokesman said: �A close inspection of the parachutes leads us to believe they had been meddled with.�

Jan. 29, 2007, 10:20AM
Man killed while trying to cross Houston freeway

A man died after a vehicle struck him as he tried to cross Interstate 45 North early today, police reported.

The incident was reported at 12:45 a.m.

The man, whose name was withheld pending identification and notification of relatives, ran into the outside lane of the 4900 block of I-45 North and was hit by a 2003 Chevrolet SUV, witnesses told police.

The driver of the SUV was not ticketed, police said.